[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 723
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"WHY I didn't sokil..."
Zimbabwe is a land of magical transformations.
Man accused of having sex with donkey says prostitute transformed herself into a donkey.
Last fiscal year, the Russian Federation lost 1.7 billion roubles - and these losses are directly attributed to the prevalence of pets such as cats.
"You see, we calculated everything very clearly," Ilya Suchkov, one of the economists involved in the cost optimisation project, shares his observations. - Every cat person is 5 times more late for work than a person without pets, and 9 times more late for work than a dog person.
As it turns out, it is the property of house cats to climb onto their owners' bed in the morning and curl up at their feet. "Cats restrain leg activity and it is difficult for a person to get up without disturbing the cat. And few people dare to disturb their pet's sleep," sums up Suchkov. - Dog owners, on the contrary, get up early in the morning to walk their pets and therefore are extremely rarely late.
So already next year the question of penalising cat owners or imposing an extra tax on domestic cats will be considered at the highest level.
Last year the Russian Federation lost 1.7 billion roubles - and this loss is directly linked to the prevalence of pets such as cats.
"You see, we calculated everything very clearly," shares the observations of Ilya Suchkov, one of the economists involved in the cost optimisation project. - Every cat person is 5 times more likely to be late for work than a non-pet person and 9 times more likely to be late for work than a dog person.
As it turns out, it's the property of house cats to climb onto their owners' bed in the morning and curl up on their feet. "Cats restrain leg activity and it is difficult for a person to get up without disturbing the cat. And few people dare to disturb their pet's sleep," sums up Suchkov. - Dog owners, on the contrary, get up early in the morning to walk their pets and therefore are extremely rarely late.
So already next year the issue of penalising cat owners or imposing an extra tax on domestic cats will be considered at the highest level.
It wasn't British scientists? That's odd...
Russia has passed a new law to replace the death penalty with a lifetime mortgage at 20% interest.
Yes, a mortgage.
http://news.mail.ru/politics/7134933/?frommail=1
Only there's no housing.
Russian officials have spoken out against restrictions on expensive company cars
try to guess if this is a joke now
Which economic model correctly predicts the outlook for the European economy: a double-dip recession, a V-shaped recovery or some other. "The bathtub model. A sharp recession, then a period of stagnation, and then everything goes down the drain," the response reads.
"European Council working session: 7.15pm - Business dinner. 20.00 - Bilateral meetings. 22.00 - Press conference. 22.05 - Silvio Berlusconi heads to a nightclub and promises to buy everyone a drink. Angela refuses because she doesn't want to, Sarkozy because he can't, Papandreou because he has no money for a taxi home".