Humour - page 34
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From an advertisement on Ekho Moskvy radio. 14.06.2012, 8-12.
"Only classics! Elite class industrial and construction equipment! www.kuvalda.ru"
Once I saw a picture in The Crocodile - a painted shovel. Like, the boss's tool for working on the subbotnik. "Elite class industrial and construction equipment" reminded me of it.
:)
PS. I want to see an elite class sledgehammer!!!!
>
Exam in medical school. Instructor: Which human organ can enlarge itself 14 times?
Student: Hee hee!
P: Don't rush, girl, think again, what organ in a person can increase 14 times?
S.: Hee-hee!
P: Pupil! Pupil can increase 14 times! Hee-hee" only one and a half times.
The pupil is not an organ, it's an opening.
The pupil (colloquial zenya) is an aperture in the opaque iris through which light enters the eye. [с]
From an advertisement on Ekho Moskvy radio. 14.06.2012, 8-12.
"Only classics! Industrial and construction equipment of the elite class! www.kuvalda.ru".
"Classics only! Premium industrial and construction equipment ! www.kuvalda.ru".
The pupil is not an organ, it's an opening.
The pupil (colloquial zenya) is an aperture in the opaque iris through which light enters the eye. [с]
Then you can rewrite the joke like this:
Exam in medical school. Instructor: Which orifice in a man can enlarge 14 times?
Student: Hee hee!
P: Don't rush, girl, think again, what hole in a person can increase 14 times?
S.: Hee-hee!
P: Pupil! A pupil can go up 14 times! Hee-hee only one and a half times.
You feel better now, literate boy?
A long anecdote.
Tom walks down the street, sees a new shop. Let me go in. He goes in. He's immediately greeted by a smiling salesman and says:
- Hello, we're very glad to see you, what would you like to buy?
Tom thinks about it and says:
- Well, I need gloves.
- Please go to that department.
Tom walks over:
- Hello, I need gloves.
He says back:
- Summer gloves or winter gloves?
Tom: Winter.
Salesman: Then go to that department over there.
Tom goes and asks in the next department: Hello, I need gloves.
SELLER: Do you want leather or not?
Tom: Leather.
Salesman: Then go to that department over there.
Tom doesn't understand, but OK, let's go.
- Hi, I need some winter leather gloves.
SELLER: Do you want leather gloves or not?
Tom: Yes, of course.
SELLER: You'll have to go to the department across the street.
Tom tenses, but goes silently. In the new department, he says in a high-pitched voice: "I need WARM COAT leather gloves with real fur.
Clasped or not?
Tom: Clasped!
Stretch out your hand, spread your fingers.
Tom: Please.
SELLER: You'll have to go next door.
Tom angrily: what is this? Are you kidding me?! Give me the gloves and I'll go away!
Salesman: Don't worry, we just want to sell you exactly what you want so that you get the most out of your purchase. Are you matching the gloves to this coat?
Tom in annoyance: Yes! and moves on to the next department.
He walks up to the next shop assistant and with an exasperated expression:
- I need winter leather with real fur and a clasp on these hands for this coat gloves!!!!
Seller: Do you need a button fastener or a zip?
Tom (on the verge of hysterics): Button!!!
Vendor: You have to go to that vendor over there.
At this moment, the front door swings open and Billy walks in, holding an outstretched toilet, with tiles still around the edges. Walks up to the counter and shouts: That's my toilet, that's my tile, I showed you my arse yesterday, give me some toilet paper at least!!!!
A long anecdote.
They just haven't delivered the goods yet, but the shop has already opened, so the customers need to be entertained in some way, and the salespeople need to get paid for a reason )))
An old joke, slightly adapted. Sorry if it has already been:
A trader-programmer at 3 a.m. has completed the fruit of months of labours. The Expert Advisor of all time has been created!
Megabytes of information have been processed, thousands of lines of code have been written and debugged, and hundreds of tests have been performed. Finally - there it is - the Grail!
He sits and with a blissful expression on his face, caresses the desktop gently. Then the doorbell rings. He opens it and there is Death with a scythe.
He goes pale, his knees begin to shake. Just when life was about to begin, it's a bummer.
Death, patting him on the shoulder in a friendly way: "What are you afraid of, silly boy? I'm not after you, I'm after your screw."
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