[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 142
You are missing trading opportunities:
- Free trading apps
- Over 8,000 signals for copying
- Economic news for exploring financial markets
Registration
Log in
You agree to website policy and terms of use
If you do not have an account, please register
The same dream in my brain:
A girl with hairy legs
Running towards me on the wet sand
And I grab the fragile creature
And with a shudder I throw her on the sand,
And gently, holding my breath,
I pluck every hair...
♪ Cover your maidenhood with a rag ♪
While you've lusted after me in bed
I saved Earth from aliens!
Than the tale of Romeo and Juliet
When there were quarrels and fights and cormorants
And two greyhound clans were on the rampage:
The Montagues and the Capulets were fighting
And at intervals they ate spaghetti.
In one clan the girl is Juliet
The other is Romeo. Between them: This:
There's a feeling of light
Like something pink or blue.
They secretly enjoyed each other
And from their kin they technically hid.
And so, in one inter-clan showdown.
Romeo, the stork, took it and spoiled it all.
And he whacked Juliet's brother
In the forehead with a big gun.
Juliet was in tears for a long time
But she didn't forget Romeo, the killer.
Still they lurked in the bushes
♪ They wouldn't know a thing if they didn't get caught ♪
♪ And then it got really super-psychedelic ♪
(You don't see that on MTV)
♪ the father was yelling at his daughter with a cobbler's sword ♪
"How could you lie down with your brother's murderer".
Romeo was praised by his brothers in the clan
And blessed his exploits.
But Juliet, unable to bear the shame.
She took a load of dimedrol and took it.
And Romeo, who had heard of the subject.
♪ And he shot 15 cc's of heroin into his vein ♪
♪ And in that drug scene ♪
Romeo died of an overdose.
And when Juliette got high, she saw three syringes
Three syringes sticking out of his hand
The syringes had a cube each
She was not confused and dosed.
And death brought them both together
And one grave sheltered them.
The two clans forgot their quarrels at once
And divided the town evenly
And the businessmen paid their tribute in peace
And never feuded again.
That's the end of this tale.
I've told it to you in good conscience.
# Don't you ever eat Dimitri's food #
♪ And don't take any more Dimedrol ♪
In the morning I go home in my car.
I'm always hammering a joint,
To make my ride a little more fun.
My joint, my joint, my joint, my joint,
I've smoked one, I'm doing another,
"When a sergeant from the traffic police pulls my car over:
"Help me, darling! "Help me, darling!"
He said: "Our car's broken down,
DATA to the post, or else it's dead !"
I said: "Sure, what a talk !
Hook your wreck to my Volvo !"
They're all over me, assholes !
My Volvo went fifty kilometres.
And I stopped counting the joints.
Ay, kumar good! Ah, kumar good!
And when my mind went blank..,
I thought of the girl, my beauty.
I looked back - Oh, Allah help me!
Wai, the cops are on my tail! Vi, the cops are on my tail!
I went faster, but they didn't lag behind.
I'm sure they're after me!
I'm already speeding up to a hundred -
I've got a kilo of weed with me!
And they're all after me. Wai, what a parasite!
They can't have more engine power!
They're already shouting into my microphone - tarmazi!!!
And they turn on the blinkers at a hundred and forty...
Everyone's pulling over to the side of the road.
I've done a hundred and seventy, and I realised I'm a sheep,
I'll never get away from them.
I'll try to wind them up in the yards.
And people screeched away:
"Wai, what a driver in the militia!"
Five hundred times they didn't make the turn,
They tore down all the fences, entrances and bins.
And they fell behind at the fourth hour -
Hey, who's trying to catch up in the yards!
I'm jamming the joint, slowing the cars down,
I get out of the salon to change the plates.
Suddenly I see what's up? - It's like a bi-tail
...out of the back of my car?!
I take a closer look, it's a cable,
It's got a rusty bumper on it... Wai, what a mess!
And long goodbye, my home village,
Hello, northern town, cursed Inta.
Hello, you stale dry and cold barrack.
So do goodbye to those dirty cops!
Don't lie on the edge
♪ The little grey wolf will come and bite you ♪
And he'll bite you on the side!
And then the bear will come
He'll take a third of your legs off,
♪ The fox will take his hand ♪
The bunny will suck his eyes out!
♪ Worms will crawl under his nails ♪
♪ The lynx will get its claws in your heart ♪
And some ginger cat
♪ And some ginger cat's throat's gonna be torn out ♪
The guts of a bull's horn will argue.
Moose will rip out your tongue
And a dog from the yard
A dog in the yard will chew your thighbone!
A cat will lick your eye socket
A wild boar will bite off your buttocks
A mole will eat your liver
The bull will tear his mouth off with his hoof!
A hedgehog will pull out his tongue
A worm will hollow out a worm's brain
A woodpecker's skull will be crushed
Moths in the lungs.
The badger will chew up the heart.
A moth in the nose!
And the cheerful flowers
Will sprout through your buds...
And that's all the baby's gonna be
♪ Just a spine and a spleen ♪
Blood dripping from the ceiling
Death will not be easy!
Sleeps the murdered fox,
Sleeps a strangled bird,
A decapitated hamster
Look at him go limp
Drowning in the stinking sludge
Mice asleep in the aquarium
And on the dried up floor
Fish are sleeping in a corner.
Asleep in a test-tube embryos,
Sleeping in the museum of pharaohs,
And in a cozy mausoleum
Lenin sleeps, blissfully asleep.
The watchman sleeps with a knife in his back,
The firemen sleep in fire,
And, pinned by a log,
the builder sleeps in a dead sleep.
Only once mistaken,
The sappers sleep at this hour.
With no parachute,
The paratrooper sleeps on the stones.
Neighbours, forgetting to turn off the gas,
Sleeping in a slump on the parquet.
Flies are napping in the cobwebs...
Sleep, or I'll nail you with a pillow!
Completely naked - all wrinkled belly.
Wrinkled ass, wrinkled breasts.
Looking at the old woman, people smiled.
Looking at the old woman, how not to smile.
A naked old lady... That's fucked up!
Red Riding Hood in Power Point style
>>