[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 140

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Who else can do that? Only Russian programmers!
They introduced the HUI variable. When western bosses asked what it was, they quickly invented the High-quality User Interface excuse.
I cried.
 
I understand, of course, that there are programmers living in the dorm... But to write on the fridge with a marker

Windows Ice Machine ver 1.21.
Enter your password.

and draw buttons with numbers on them, that's not all!
They type in the password every time they want to get into the fridge and get very offended when someone tries to open it just for fun.
 
A top-level scandal erupted after a telephone consultation with the chief accountant, in which programmers were advised to have an abortion and go out the window... Now our IT people could be the envy of diplomats))))
 
Oh, crap, programmers...
We have one tricky banking system.
And the programmers periodically send patches to it.
And lately, they've been getting a little bit jammed up:
1. They sent us two patches. Each one asks for the other one to be pre-installed.
2. Two recursive patches were sent instead of these two - each one asks for the same one to be pre-installed.
3. In order to fix this, they sent PATCHES TO PATCHES. Shit.
Fucking cokeheads.
 
xxx: Programmers are fucking idiots!
xxx: Who put Mr. MySql Detergent in the product database ????
 
xxx: don't bullshit me that they wrote it! americans have nothing but dough, not even brains!
yyyy: all you see is a set-up...
xxx: ok, the massiv variable, maybe it's from massive. but! a function called human-user interface "hui_work" and the pizdecimal variable don't tell you anything!?!?
yyyy: ok, I win...
 
Di_Griz: a friend called just now. he said he had hit the washing machine. he said it started to rumble and then it jammed. I opened the machine, the drum was all crooked. I take the clothes out - and there's a dumbbell in there!!!
 
An acquaintance of mine told me a story. His two granddaughters, aged seven or nine, were having a fight over a ball or a doll. The argument grew increasingly heated, and finally (as often happens in children's disputes) the younger one resorted to her mother's help. The mother took the position of the beggar and said to the older one:
- Dasha, you are older. You should be smarter and give in.
To which the child gave out a masterpiece:
- I'm not so stupid as to be smarter!!!
 

- Hello! Our printer isn't working!
- What's wrong with it?
- The mouse is stuck!
- A mouse? What's the printer got to do with it?
- Um... I'll send you a picture...


 

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