Humour - page 220
You are missing trading opportunities:
- Free trading apps
- Over 8,000 signals for copying
- Economic news for exploring financial markets
Registration
Log in
You agree to website policy and terms of use
If you do not have an account, please register
love the news from the past )))!!!
friends from there say it's a fake, those who live in those areas say it never happened ... >
(D. Kharms)
Native Muscovite Vitya, all his conscious life spent inside the Moscow Ring Road, even in the army managed to serve at arm's length, in the suburbs. Vitya has always been an avid motorist, and now his holiday coincided with the purchase of a luxury SUV.
It became clear that Turkey would not wait for its three regular breadwinners this year. It was unanimously decided on family council - to go on holiday only by car and... no matter where. First, sometime it is necessary to begin "adult" auto-travel - a wind of distant travels and all that, and besides a good occasion - a huge brand-new Jeep requires endless lack of roads. It was like an intoxicatingly heavy combat pistol in its groin, begging: "Boss, how long can you keep your belly cold for nothing? Let's shoot at least once. А? "
They thought about it for a long time and decided to go for a week to Astrakhan, where an old army friend, Vaska, lived. He had been calling us for a long time, promising not only fishing, but even fishing...
We called each other. Vaska was overjoyed, took some time off, cooked worms, caulked and refuelled the boat, sat down on a stump and waited impatiently for his friend whom he had not seen for twenty years.
In the meantime, Vitya had bought everything he needed and didn't need for the long journey, from the spare jack and toolkit to the expensive GPS and the luggage rack resembling an alien ship. A first road trip and a thousand and a half miles at once is no joke.
The war with the road started, as it should at 4am.
The first unscheduled stop was at Kashira.
Vitya and his wife went to a shop to stretch legs and buy cigarettes, and we locked half-asleep five-year-old Grishka in the car.
Five minutes later the travellers with ice-cream in their hands were rushing towards the horizon again, towards the sea, red caviar and fish inspector. Every two hundred kilometres the drivers gave the steering wheel to each other, and Grisha slept on the back seat, with breaks for cartoons. By nightfall, the tired, but not broken family with pounding feet had spent the night in a roadside campsite and was on the road again at dawn. Late in the evening of the second day, just as we had dreamed, we drove out onto absolutely no road. We would soon see Vasya's village. Nine kilometres, seven hundred metres to go. Eight kilometres, 100 metres. Five kilometres, two hundred metres. It's a long time to take these last few steps. The victory flag had already appeared on the GPS screen. At last something like a village glimmered out of the windows and a long-awaited joyful voice sounded:
- "You have arrived at your destination!"
Vitya stopped the car where the twelve American satellites told him to and cheerfully "pofhafed". The village was already asleep, even the dogs. The light went on in the house and a sleepy, swollen and very surprised army friend came out to meet Vitya... but not Vasya, but... Misha, who lived not far from Astrakhan, but somewhere near Chelyabinsk. Vitya could hardly restrain himself from asking:
- Misha! Fucking hell! And what are you doing here? ?
But the next second he knew, and he bit his tongue, pretending to be happy to see me.
The day before the trip, Vitya was studying the new GPS and looking at his dusty demob album. He showed the family the pictures, and for practice he punched in the flags with his friends' addresses. At the first stop in Kashira the turning point happened when Grisha poked his dad's GPS with his thick, restless finger and thus turned the expedition eastwards, to Chelyabinsk village.
Misha was the most surprised of all, who was diplomatically concealed from him the awful truth of the unexpected visit. He probably thought:
- Witek, who has not seen each other for seventeen years, suddenly appeared without warning, like a free carnival, stayed one day and went away at once, we have not even had time to have a drink with him. They are strange, these Muscovites after all...".
"Poisoning children is cruel. But something has to be done about them! "
(D. Kharms)
Huh, that's quite a ride.)))
She: Honey, I'm so tired, go home from work and buy some grilled chicken, we'll have dinner together when I get home.
Him: Okay, I will.
After a while.
Him: Kisses.
She's at a loss, 15 years of marriage, passionate as can be.
Tear-struck, she writes back
- I love you too, very, very much and kiss you very, very tightly.
He calls back: Mania! Yo-p-r-s-t, I'm asking you, do you want a whole chicken?
It looks to me like Kolyan Marzhov once again says: "Here's a l. not a profit" .....
Underneath the picture is true Anatomy, only not a pin bar but a Margin Call ...
==============
Hammer, a famous American businessman, was intimately acquainted with Lenin and received a letter of protection from him, which read "Let him in at any time!
Hammer outlived Lenin by half a century and used this note to get into the mausoleum without queuing.