Humour - page 294
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I see we're talking about food. Not to speak of the night. That's what people in Asia eat, they wash the maggots through a colander:
They cook them properly and then serve them. That's how they do it, with red sauce:
After watching Survive At Any Cost by Ber Grylls, you're not surprised.
-Fucking hell! Who was on task force duty yesterday?!!
- What happened? What's up?
I see Palych is finally getting mad:
- Who was on duty in the task force yesterday?!!
Kudryash gets up:
- Me, Comrade Captain.
Palych:
- Did you go on call?
Kudryash:
- That's right, Comrade Captain!
Palych:
- Did you pick up the dead woman?
Kudryash:
- Took her away...
(I see Kudryash getting more and more pensive)
Palych (with a tear in his voice):
- WELL?!
Kudryash:
- Nikolay Pavlovich, well I took her ... to the morgue, there was one keeper, I had to drag her myself. (the janitors in our shelter are drunk as usual).
Palych:
- You go on with your story, Lieutenant.
Kudryash:
-Well, there was no room in the morgue... And she was an old lady, I couldn't leave her on the floor... So I put her on a chair near the guard, and she slipped down... I tied her with a rope, put her passport in one hand and a resolution for an autopsy in the other...
By the time Kudryash had finished, everyone was laughing.
Palych:
-not only did the caretaker tell her jokes at night, but in the morning the cleaning lady came... she asked your granny to lift her legs, granny said nothing... The cleaning lady thought your grandmother had fallen asleep and pushed her legs with a mop... When the cleaning lady realized that she was dead, she immediately fainted and fell down and grabbed her documents, which fell on top of the cleaning lady... The orderlies thought that the cleaning lady was dead, as the documents were lying on her. They put her on a gurney and took her to an autopsy, where they stripped her and put her on the autopsy table. At that time, medical school students arrived to witness the autopsy, surrounded the cleaner and the teacher was about to make the first cut, turned the cleaner's head, at that moment she opened her eyes and woke up. Everyone fainted.