Humour - page 291
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- Mykola, what about "associate membership"?
- Well, kum, Ukraine will be part of the EU.
- Then will it join the EU?
- No, it will not, but it will.
- How's that?
- Well, it is like eggs in a sexual act: they take part in it, but they do not enter it, but they just dangle around.
Millions of Ukrainians have taken to the streets to assert their right to wash dishes and sweep the streets in the European Union!
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The Ukrainian equivalent of the Barbie doll, Oksana, has been launched.
It comes with her friend Mykola, a cottage, a summer kitchen, two hectares of vegetable garden, a shovel, a rake and poison for Colorado potato beetles. ))))
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Ukrainian border with Moldova. Ukrainian border guards call their Moldovan colleagues: your dog got caught in our trap take your dog away!
Moldovans: how do you know it's our dog? Ukrainians: she chewed off three legs, but did not get out of the trap...)))))))))))))))))
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Ukrainians have discovered a new oil deposit. Its extraction is complicated by the fact that the oil is in tanks and moving.
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http://cs302703.userapi.com/v302703521/3ffb/hjhobg88lEM.jpg
The Hollywood plot was brought to life by a passenger at a Moscow airport.
For almost three months he has been living in a neutral zone, unable to leave it because of problems with his documents, reports NTV.
It turned out that Sergei Usmanov failed to change his Soviet passport to a modern one at the time, which turned out to be the case when he tried to board the plane. Now he has to make his living in an air hub. For more than two months he has been living in the corridors of the neutral zone of the airport where border guards do not let him leave.
Sergei Usmanov was detained at the check-in counter. He tried to fly to Simferopol, but could not show his Russian passport to border guards. The man simply did not have one. As it turned out, he had no identity documents at all.
"I remained a citizen of the Soviet Union. I could not prove that I was on Russian territory when I was issued the Russian passports. They had doubts that I was living on Russian territory, and I had to prove it," Usmanov says.
He insists that he is now being illegally detained at the airport. Under the rules he should have been released after 48 hours or been charged with something. Hoping to get out of the difficult situation more quickly, the spouse of the detained passenger has already appealed to the court and the Prosecutor General's Office.
When you turn on the television
don't listen and watch
or else your nose will bleed
and out of your ears and out of your mouth...
It's a pie - a complete quatrain without rhyme, written in iambic four, in lower case letters, with no numbers, hyphens or punctuation. Youtz.
You made the mistake of putting two full stops at the end of the stanza. On the whole, it's quite an edible fart...
I had a similar case, only it wasn't a urine jar. In 7th grade, I got really into chemistry, and by that time I had even burned several of my sick jackets with chemicals.
A friend of mine had a mum who worked in a chemistry lab. So I went to him and asked him to pour me some nitric acid.
Concentrated.
He poured it into a jar, we closed it, and I put the jar in my trouser pocket.
I come home and I feel a burning sensation in my groin area. It's not bad, but it's strong. I take off my trousers and there's a blister there. Turns out the can wasn't sealed hermetically. Or the nitric acid had eaten away at the gasket and some had spilled out.
And I had to go to the maths Olympiad in the regional centre. So we went - and visited a doctor there.
A friend's mother worked in a chemical laboratory. So I went to him and asked him to pour me some nitric acid.
Concentrated.
He poured it into a jar, we closed it, and I put the jar in my trouser pocket.
I came home and felt a burning sensation in my groin area. It's not bad, but it's strong. I take off my trousers and there's a blister there. Turns out the can wasn't sealed hermetically. Or the nitric acid had eaten away at the gasket and spilled some.
And I had to go to the maths Olympiad in the regional centre. So we went there and visited a doctor.
It must not have been very concentrated, maybe 10-20 percent. 70% nitric acid would tear your skin, and in the groin - so much worse than an atomic war)))
Also, the jar would have fallen out of my pocket when I was still on the street. I have my own experience of this, although I had a lab coat :)
Probably not very concentrated, maybe 10-20 percent. 70% nitrogen would have caused skin breakdown and the groin would have been even worse than the atomic war))))
Also, the jar would have fallen out of my pocket when I was still on the street. I have had this experience, although I only used a lab coat :)
Probably not very concentrated, either. Does concentrated smoke nitrogen oxides or not?
Visually, sulfuric acid has much stronger effect on skin. Although, as an oxidizer, it is almost useless compared to nitrogen.
P.S. The skin was a different colour - lighter in colour - a few years ago. That is to say, the burn was decent.
Concentrated smokes vapour, if it was fuming, at least 70%. Then just a droplet leaked or only vapours at all.
Nitrogen is more or less protected from the skin by a layer of grease, which is always on the skin, but the skin turns yellow and won't wash off for a week.