Humour - page 289

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granit77:

"And special forces uniforms canbe bought in any shop..." Vladimir Putin'spress conference in Novo-Ogaryovo


Yes, that's right... And there are plenty of Tigers in any car dealership ))))
 
 
evillive:

Yeah, right... And there are plenty of Tigers in any car dealership ))))


Exactly, they don't even want them - they can't even get on the kerb.

http://obozrevatel.com/politics/08716-v-seti-poyavilos-video-na-kotorom-rossijskij-tigr-ne-mozhet-pereehat-bordyur-v-kryimu.htm

 
VladislavVG:


Exactly, they don't even want them - they can't even get on the kerb properly

http://obozrevatel.com/politics/08716-v-seti-poyavilos-video-na-kotorom-rossijskij-tigr-ne-mozhet-pereehat-bordyur-v-kryimu.htm


And why run over, he wanted to drive over it, that kerb, he almost did it.)
 
 
 
Who will confirm the authorship of this eternally topical in our country tale? The style seems to be Zhvanetsky.

One day the Minister of Finance appeared on TV, pale as death, and declared:
- The financial crisis will not affect us. Because. I'm telling you.
The populace, aware of official pronouncements, swore softly and
went out to buy salt, matches and sugar.
The next day the embarrassed Minister of Trade appeared on television and said:
- 'The stock of bread and essential goods makes us proud to say that
hunger and commodity shortages do not threaten us. Here are the figures.
- Oh!" said the population and bought more flour and cereals.
The agriculture minister danced at the podium and said cheerfully:
- An unprecedented harvest! Export hopes! We're reborn! The stores are cracking!
- Oh, yeah! - the population was horrified and ran to convert their savings into foreign currency.
- Real estate prices will fall! A penthouse for every student! In the near future! -
- the Minister of Construction blurted out without a pucker.
- What's going on, huh? - The population howled and ran to buy paraffin, paraffin lamps, firewood and coal.
- A modern army on a contract basis. Tomorrow. And grenades with a new system. There is no such thing in the world yet.
- The Minister of Defence said firmly. - Well, why should we? We have tons of money. Reserves, reserves, and a surplus.
- Mother! -The population shouted and started digging dugouts.
- It's all f-fi-gen-no! Do you understand? ! F-I-G-I-N-G-NO!! ! - the president insinuated. - We could build
communism today. The only thing that's stopping us is that we'll all get bored. So you can sleep in peace!
It cannot get any more stable than this! Retirees are buying caviar by the bucketful! I foresee a qualitative leap, a spurt and a jump.
And a quantitative leap, a run! With a mammoth stride towards affluence and prosperity. The Caribbean is getting closer.
From here we threaten the world. One hundred and thirty quintals of roses in every bed. We'll reduce the milk yields altogether.
The cows can't carry udders. The population resents the cheapness. South America is asking to be part of us as a state farm. Hooray!
- What are you beasts cooking there? ! - The population shouted and put on their clean clothes just in case.

 
granit77:
Who can confirm the authorship of this perennially topical story in our country? The style seems to be Zhvanetsky.

Not only does it look like that, but it's just like that :)
 
evillive:
Not only does it look like that, it's just like that :)
So you need an authoritative reference. So that if I have to change, there will be someone to remember.
 
I haven't seen the link, I saw it on TV, a long time ago...
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