Humour - page 250

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leonid553:

Anybody is ready to offend an artist!

We true patriots don't understand the sublime soul of a creative man....

I think it's a newfangled kind of piercing.

A whole area under your balls is not a ring or a bead.

You have to understand!

 

A young mother, a nurse by profession, often takes her son (4-5 years old) to work with her. In order to comply with hospital regulations, she has made him a white coat and a cap.
Story. A child, imbued with the rules of this order, found somewhere shoe covers and gloves, put them on, tied a gauze bandage and went straight to the operating room. To the stern question, "What the hell is this? " he replied with great pride and enduring dignity:
- I am a microsurgeon.
Everyone cried...

***

There was a very responsible Jewish janitor at work. He even made a glazed stand for the newspaper and put up a fresh one every morning. And when the lottery table was published he put a trash bin near it, so that everybody did not litter with the tickets they had not won.
After a year, he quit his job and bought a cottage. Turns out he used to paste the old tables to the new lottery lottery hats.

***

Beeline and MTS are merging!
The symbol of the new corporation will be a bee with red eggs!

***

Loan advertisements should be read backwards.
Not "Take a loan! No problem! "but "No problem? Take out a loan! ".

***

- My sincere congratulations, my boy. I'm sure you'll remember today as the happiest day of your life!
- But the wedding's tomorrow, Papa!
- I know what I'm saying!

 
 
VOLDEMAR:

That's a hell of a trick. That could kill you (break your neck). What kind of wrestling is that?
 
MetaDriver:
That's a hell of a trick. That could kill you (break your neck). What kind of wrestling is that?
It's a staged "show-off." Can't you tell?
 

it's cooler here... :-)))

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzkwMjYxNDM2.html

 
In my day, I was chosen by the coach's daughter to spar as the most useless creature. So this young, fragile creature, in a lightweight dress. She took a wall and hit me on the head with it, knocking me out for a week. That was the first time I had ever experienced aikido, and I stopped believing in women as well.
 
ivandurak:
In my day, I was chosen by the coach's daughter to spar as the most useless creature. So this young, fragile creature, in a lightweight dress. She took a wall and hit me on the head with it, knocking me out for a week. That's how I got my first taste of aikido and stopped trusting women.


Eh fool cardboard. It's love!!!!!
 
nikelodeon:


Eh fool of a cardboard. It's love!!!!!.
I have a tekwondo class within walking distance. I sent my daughter there when she was 8 years old. There were 15-20 boys and 3 girls in the class. It was the time of first love. Boys do not know how to court, but they want to attract the attention of girls. The logical conclusion is that they should hit harder, and oh, how dashingly the girls learned to fight back. Here baby classmate, very insistent wants to be friends, but the boy does not like it. When I asked him how to make him leave me alone, I advised him to take him to training. He got it all out of his system. Then he was called to the school principal's office three times for beating up boys.
 
nikelodeon:


Eh fool of a cardboard. This is Lyubov!!!!!
I agree, it has long been known that in Russian the words "beat" and "love" are absolutely and completely synonymous.
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