[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 695
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LeoV:
TOB.CyxoB : Paradise Asshole. Sound!
Ashamed to admit it, but if you're not GDP, you're fucked....)))
Who's that?
- You're breaking your rights! Your rights.
The driver gives you a book.
- What is this?!
- The Constitution, it says everything about rights.
- I don't care if it's the Kama Sutra, it says everything about rights, but where is the money...?
http://ibigdan.livejournal.com/9059759.html
"Lelik! The nibble will make the customer forget all about the world!"(c - "The Diamond Arm")
===============================
The next day:
"On the advice of my friends, I decided to buy a Moskvich...
a Moskvich car!"
"For the third time in his life, the premier was scuba diving to a depth of two metres. Suddenly he saw two slightly buried amphorae in a well-settled area.
- What a stroke of luck! - he muttered. - I wish I could find Kolchak's gold.
Not five minutes later something yellow glittered ahead. Yes, it was Kolchak's gold!
Premier sailed on and on, and in front of him were opening up more and more mysteries of the past centuries: the mysterious Inca masks, the royal treasures, the golden fleece of the Greeks, the well-preserved inscriptions of the Druids, Atlantis, the Library of Alexandria....
And so for an hour, a day, a week.
- Bring, bring him more, - rang inaudibly for the premier over the water. - Bring it all you have. ...".
http://oleg-kozyrev.livejournal.com/3669120.html
Trader's dictionary
broker
1. an unhurried man who fulfils your every wish (buying/selling stocks and other assets, of course);
brokerage commissions
1. what leisurely-men live on;
troik/renik/brance...
1. diminutive name for well-known investment companies;
raya/mosya/beam...
1. diminutive name for popular stocks (RAO UES, Moskenergo, Lukoil...);
chip
1. there are "blue chips," the most liquid shares on the market;
2. and there is the phrase "as the chip lies" - an answer to someone who regularly pesters with questions about "where the market will go and how much it will cost;
speculator
1. failed investor;
investor
1. failed speculator;
long/trade long/buy
1. position that generates profits when the price of an asset rises;
short/trade long/sell short
1. position that generates profit when the price of the asset falls. In the case of shares, selling shares borrowed from a broker;
vote
1. apply with a vote;
bid
1. bid price;
offer
1. bid price;
spread
1. difference between the best bid and offer;
bid/stand at bid
1. to have a bid on an exchange system or broker, usually at the best bid;
ofer
1. to have a sell order in an exchange system or with a broker, usually at the best offer;;
gap
1. a significant difference between the price at the end of the previous day and the beginning of the next day (period);
gapping
1. to make a lot of trades;
dump
1. sell
pouring/flooding
1. selling on high volumes;
hoarding/stuffing
1. to buy;
lower the market
1. this is what happens when everyone wants to dump;
to drive the market up
1. and this is what happens when everyone starts hoarding;
stagnate/flounder
1. to stagnate;
2. stagnation - the absence of a clear upward or downward trend in the market, usually when trading volumes are low;
suck
1. inactive market;
2. bad stocks;
saw
1. a snide grin of the market;
2. a series of brief but abrupt, multidirectional market movements, resulting in a sawtooth curve on the price chart. Playing on the sawtooth leads to significant losses on the account, the account is sawed off;
profit
1. profit;
elk
1. loss; they say "catch an elk", i.e. "make a loss";
loser
1. a trader who constantly loses money;
stop-loss
1. time to reel in;
2. timely closing unprofitable positions;
Stop-Profit
1. greed will not kill a trader;
2. timely closing positions in order to lock in paper profits;
Paper profit/loss
1. a nice or unpleasant number on a piece of paper, telling you what to expect if you close your positions;
profit/loss locking
1. closing positions with a profit or loss, after which the account amount tells you that it is time to drink beer in the former case or vodka in the latter;