Interesting and Humour - page 744
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You should have killed him. He's dead anyway.
"The government made a miscalculation several years ago when designing a pension system that included a funded pillar," Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev said at a meeting with representatives of the RSPP.
You should have killed him. He's dead anyway.
Regarding the traffic jams on the M10... Solutions have been found at the Government:
1) After the Transport Minister's report, Dmitry Anatolyevich found out that vans have wheels, but they are the wrong calibre. It was decided to prepare decisions to put all trucks on winter tyres, and at the same time to put all railway transport on winter rails and sleepers.
The lobbyists for tyre and sleeper plants are rubbing their hands...
2) After the report of GIBDD about the number of stuck trucks in traffic jams on M10, the head of Federal Tax Service asked an amazed question: "What are they doing there? Our calculation shows that the total volume of stuck trucks for 3 days is equal to the annual turnover of the Leningrad and Moscow regions taken together, according to the tax reports of transport companies".
A command was given to double-check calculations and to adjust plans for tax revenues from transport companies.
3) "ecologists" from Khimki forest were summoned to Government meetings, but they did not show up. Referents sent to Khimki Forest, reinforced by FSB agents, did not find not only "environmentalists", but also the Khimki Forest itself.
4) The "Chief Meteorologist" heard at the Government in a 3-hour report announced that American meteorologists predicted that it would snow in Russia more than once this winter. The "meteorologist" was severely reprimanded for the unpleasant news.
5) It was decided to send several delegations of government officials to Greece, Maldives, Australia, Tunisia and Ecuador in the next month to exchange experiences in combating winter traffic jams on motorways.
6) The traffic police asked the Ministry of Defence for several tanks to secure the bribes collected from drivers over 3 days.
7) Due to the fact that during the 3-day traffic jam a number of careless citizens from nearby villages engaged in illegal business, selling drivers a loaf of bread for 100 rubles, it was decided to legalize this activity, selling such citizens directly to the approach to the highway an official license, costing 1000 rubles a day.
8) The Ministry of Emergency Situations reported failures in its services to deliver food and fuel to stranded drivers on the motorway. It was decided to involve paratroopers in the task and drop everything needed in the jams by parachute.
9) It was established that truck drivers in traffic jams do not need an inspection ticket because it can be read during the first 5 minutes of idling. It has been decided to replace the inspection ticket with a diagnostic card, which the average driver reads for more than half an hour.
(c) videoelektronic
Awesome, but the ending is bad.
decides to stand up for herself:
- What are you doing, punching a living person in the face with your fists?
- Go away, granny, we caught the spammer!
- What are you doing with your hands? With your legs, with your legs!
- ???
- I want to get my husband's attention somehow...