Humour - page 226
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PATSOL... :-)))
http://forum.alpari.ru/showthread.php?t=80169
PATSOL... :-)))
http://forum.alpari.ru/showthread.php?t=80169
You make my day )))
The man was fed up with the cat. He decided to leave the cat in the woods. So he put the cat in the car and drove off into the woods...
Four hours later, the man calls his wife:
- Is the cat back from the woods?
- Yes. A long time ago.
- Put him on, I'm lost.
Is your child being reprimanded? Teach him the phrase:
"My mother teaches me that not every value judgement should be a behaviour modifier".
***
Love test:
1. You take your girlfriend and your dog
2. You lock them in the wardrobe
3. You wait 20 minutes
4. You open it.
SO WHO'S HAPPY TO SEE YOU?
***
Teacher: 'Those who get A's and B's will go to heaven and those who get 3's and 2's will go to hell. Voice in the back: 'Any chance of finishing school alive?
***
Call to tech support:
- I can't get google to open...
- Is the modem light on?
- Yeah. Only it's not a light bulb, it's a thyristor LED.
- Um... Yeah, well, I guess the problem is on our side...
***
I'm standing in line an hour ago, there's a guy in front of me, 28 to 30 years old. The guy's phone rings, he picks it up, next thing I hear is
- yeah, honey
- what did you do?????
- I don't give a shit about your unsaved projects, if my tanks don't start, sleep on the balcony.
***
Sometimes I think I've mastered the
"Death Message" trick. You write to a man and there's silence...
***
Give me, please, five shawarmas, not, er, five shawarmas... Shit... Shawermen? Ouch, give me 3 shawarmas and 2 shawarmas!