[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 225
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Speaking of pilots )).
A parachute demonstration by the local flying club at some major aviation festival.
The team's technician Petrovich, having escorted the last batch of athletes in bright jump suits to the old AN-2, decided it was time to relax. He went into a shabby 2x2 shed, located at the edge of the airfield, where all sorts of unnecessary junk was stored, carefully closed the door, took a bottle of port wine from the stash and, wiping his hands on his bright yellow overalls, like the rest of the team, started chopping tomatoes.
The last act of the demonstration programme was a stunt called "Rescue in the air". The essence of it was the following. A scarecrow in overalls imitating a passenger who fell out on the way, or a parachutist with a malfunctioning parachute was thrown out of the plane. An athlete jumps in after, catches up with the scarecrow in mid-air, hugs him, opens his....
parachute and they both land to thunderous applause from the audience.
Spectators gathered on the airfield enjoyed watching the stunts of the aviators, eating the spectacle with kebabs, drinking refreshments and other beverages. At last, the last number. A man gets off a plane and flies to the ground, then another one jumps out and rushes after him. The crowd freezes. The second parachutist skillfully catches up with the first one and grabs his hand. At that moment, a gust of wind or some other reason tears the athletes apart. That's it, no more time. The second one waves goodbye to his friend and opens the parachute. The people, not suspecting a trick, freeze. The body of the first parachute body hurtles towards the ground and crashes at high speed into a ramshackle shed on the edge of the airfield. Clouds of dust, slate debris and decrepit boards explode in the place of the shed. An ambulance, siren blaring, rushes to the scene of the tragedy, not really expecting to help anyone. People rush after. Everyone stops in indecision in front of the big pile of planks.
Suddenly, the planks start to move and Petrovich, in his bright yellow overalls covered in port and smeared with tomatoes, crawls out from under them, wildly looking around and waving his fist in curses at the departing plane:
- Fucking rescuers. If you can't catch it, don't make people laugh! I don't work for you bastards anymore!!!
* It is said that after these words, the ambulance doctor fainted.