[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 147

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Pinocchio was given three apples. He ate two. How many apples are left at
Pinocchio? You think it's just one? I don't think so. No one knows how many apples
he already had before. Moral - zero out the variables!!!
 
- Kettle:
I've_spell_space doesn't work!!!
- Programmer:
Write_through_space.
- 1C Programmer:
MainFontWorks!
- Delphi Programmer:
Not.Font.A.Point!
- C++ Programmer:
Lammers->Teach->Don't!
(as in 'space-space doesn't work')
- X++ programmer:
doInsertSpace(I've,gov'tspace doesn't work!!! -(,I,said,space,not,working!!!! -();
- linuxoid:
daujnewsyproblems
- Lisp programmer:
(yes, it's (generally) old))
- PHP programmer:
$$Problems$purely$not$pu$trouble;
- VB programmer:
&Older&you&need&to&get&there
- html codirector:
Nachodrugietenden
- Perl Programmer:
print join("x20″,unpack("A1A2A7A3A6A2A*", "I told you it wouldn't work"));
- Blondie:
CrUTHymParNymParNymParNymParNYeUZH!!!
- Dyed Blondie:
VotPROBELtakPROBELnadoNadoBEL
- .NET Programmer:
Class space()
{
public void unnecessary()
{
Console.WriteLine("A "+"and "+"true "+"fuck "+"him???");
}
}
- Assembler:
COMMAND SEGMENT
SPACE EQU TAB ;assign|Space|Tabulation|value|and|not|pair|
COMMAND ENDS
 

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Terminator...


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I left my laptop on. And the cat.
She:
- opened Firefox!
- made it full screen (F11)
- did a google search for re8v7lsh4llll9shUJNK!+H(H7798778887.99999999999999999..... (couldn't find anything, by the way).
Then ran Far Manager, created a bunch of folders with names like 55555555555566, and then connected to the Windows support centre and downloaded something there.

All because it (the laptop) is fucking warm.
 
I wrote a long program to convert the information from the old format to the new one, ran it and it all worked in less than a second. No, the boss won't be happy. I wrote a log, line by line, showing the processed data and a random delay time. Now - solid and long, something to show the boss!
 
 
The story goes like this: I worked in a small firm a long time ago,
There was no dedicated internet connection, but I needed to get my mail more or less regularly.
on a regular basis. Every time I had to poke the mouse to start the connection and break it after checking my mail, I got fed up.
I decided to automate the whole thing.
I set up a program that, every 2 hours, called up the list of
phone list from the provider and did everything necessary.
The first call was set for 8:30, so that just in time to get to work
the mail was checked.
Everything worked great and I enjoyed a whole month of fresh mail. Until
until one day I had to get to work an hour early
an hour earlier than usual.
While I was doing my morning rationing (cigarette, coffee, etc.), the computer
woke up and the modem started clicking away, dialing the first
phone number on the list. And I choked on my coffee when the hoarse speaker
the modem's hoarse speaker went, "FUCK YOU!!! FUCKING CUNTS! KILLING H^$##!!!! KILL!!! I'M GONNA FIND IT AND I'M GONNA RIP IT!
FUCK!!! The modem quickly jumped to another number and continued its
its work. I couldn't get any more work done.
Checked the list? The first number on the list was in error...
1...140141142143144145146147148149150151152153154...847
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