How to cook in the kitchen and make a good meal for your family - General

михаил потапыч 2011.07.24 16:10 #501

moskitman:

the flapjack, the mental health clinic...
was that "interesting" or "humor"?

There are options to choose from -

- home cooking secrets

- flapjack

- a video about the dangers of coca-cola

Good thing you liked it, too.

moskitman 2011.07.24 16:20 #502

михаил потапыч 2011.07.25 15:53 #503

cutlets, recipe

- You've been divorced for a long time. Tell me how to fry cutlets.
- That's easy. You take a piece of meat.
- Where?
- At the market. You grind it with a meat grinder and a bun. Got a meat grinder?
- Got it. There's an old one, a manual one.
- Don't chop off your fingers and toenails, it's not good.
- Yeah.
- Then you get a big knife. Slice an onion. You cry.
- Why?
- Because you're an asshole. Because you fucked up everything - your job, your woman. You even fucked up Sunday. You're standing there, chopping onions in the kitchen. Listening to football through the wall. Chef, here. Crying like a girl.
- Yeah, it sucks.
- So you finish chopping onions. Put your knife on your belt. You got a gun?
- I got one. Do you need one for the cutlets?
- I do. You go to the Savings Bank, they're closed for the weekend. You tell the depositors: "How long? And bang in the sky. People are fired up. You take the cash register. Then to the supermarket. Liquor, snacks. The crowd grows. No need to take the cops, they'll scatter themselves. So to the garrison. APCs, machine guns Don't take a helicopter - it's troublesome and old. Then attack the capital. On the way, call your friends, write appeals in your Zhjv, go through the district centres - everyone is yours there. You'll bring a hundred thousand to Kiev. Take all the women, especially the lonely ones - they can take out any riot police. Do not linger on the Maidan. Take the government buildings and declare yourself a dictator. The first decree is that the peasants get the land. They don't need it, but it sounds nice. A couple of oligarchs to the tree. The rest will be more responsive.
- And then?
- And then they all get nailed. The alcoholic garage-drunk father-in-law, the otter mother-in-law, the smart-ass sister. Shackled and sent to Snake Island. That's the place.
- Well?
- She'll be here in a couple of days. Begging for mercy. Don't tell her, "Well, who's the loser here?" and, "Now do you know who you've been living with all these years?"
- What do you say?
- Honey, could you make me some meatballs, please?