Interesting and Humour - page 55
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How to write a proper holiday request
Template 1
Dear boss.
During this year I have tried in vain to escape from your clutches. Every single day I have left as soon as I finish another project. Every single day it turned out that I had started the project with my tail between my legs and had to poke me in the face. Every one of the 365 days of the fucking year turned out to be "the worst day to go on holiday". The whole situation has brought me to the point where I laugh bitterly when I hear that serfdom was abolished a long time ago. Do you realise that the ringtone of your call ( Pig grunting in the last two months - in case you didn't know) is causing me physical pain?
But as of today - everything has changed!
I have stolen your wife! I have her as a hostage!
My terms:
1) 2 weeks leave.
2) Holiday allowance of 5 salaries.
3) A 10-day holiday to San Pedro de Alcántara in an apartment I will specify later. For two (not your wife)
Do not try to contact the police. I told your wife yesterday why I did what I did. She cried for a long time and then told me to tell you "If you contact the police, I'll untie your navel, you despot!"
I hereby bid you adieu,
Your employee.
Template 2
"I'm tired. I stand at the edge of the abyss, looking into its eyes and seeing in them the hated face of the Chief Accountant and Terror. The abyss is terrified of my condition. Like a wounded tiger I no longer crawl along the bank of the River of Life, but collapse on the bank with no strength, hearing the lapping of the waves but unable to plunge my face into them. The supply vultures try to peck my eyes out. The guards growl angrily. So far from afar, but their growling is getting closer and closer. You and only you can save me. Let me go on holiday for a fortnight - I spell it out for you in the dearest way! You wake up in the night unable to understand what has awakened you, don't you? It is my plea that bounces off the stars and catches you wherever you are.
Thank you in advance.
And BE YOU PRAISED FOR ETERNITY, IN CASE OF A NEGATIVE RESPONSE!"
Template 3
"UNIQUE PROPOSAL!
DO YOU WANT A BREAK FROM EMPLOYEE IVANOV?
WOULD YOU LIKE NOT TO SEE HIS SAD FACE FOR A FEW DAYS?
DO YOU WANT TO NOT HEAR HIS GRUMBLING AND WHINING FOR A WHILE?
I have found the ideal solution for you!!!!
CALL! 9267938473. Employee Ivanov. "
Template 4
"I've got my chainsaw ready. I've got all the tools ready for skull trepanning. My colt is oiled, knife balanced, cleaver sharpened. Pliers, pliers, vise, a low-speed drill - can barely contain the anticipation. Sulphuric acid is happily tapping tubes with hydrochloric acid. In short - I am fully prepared for rest, which I respectfully ask you for.
In principle, if it is not possible, I can understand the company's management and meet them halfway. It makes no difference to me where to apply my holiday kit - in the office or in the remote town where I plan to go on holiday. "
Template 5
"Karochi - I'll be gone for a couple of weeks. What's the best way to handle this - take leave or resign? Thanks for the advice."
(c) http://lyali.livejournal.com/
People have nothing to do, nothing to do. They'd better feed the codebase with something.
London. Pogroms. Beginning.
London. Pogroms. Beginning.
Apparently the local team lost badly.
Copy "Harman-Jeast Stadium, Hazleton, Pennsylvania 18201."
paste it into Google Earth.