Interesting and Humour - page 1518

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server:
I dial a number at random
And I say, "Ah! I love you people!"

♪ I just got an SMS in the middle of the night ♪

"Sweetheart, please call me."

A few minutes later:

"Sorry, wrong number."

 
The little son came to his father, and the little son said:
- Living with money is good, but without money is bad.
I'm sick of cocaine. I'm sick of the booze.
So your son decided to become the President of the bank!
Who the hell am I to the boys? A lunatic, pure and simple!
There's Seryoga Ivanov, the minister's son, too,
He was still a student yesterday. Thinking about his diploma.
Now he's vice-president of a bank at Gazprom.
It doesn't matter where there's modesty or conscience,
What's important is that it's about money. In finance, that is.
And Fradkov doesn't mind. That is, he's got the guts.
So that his son Petrukh would sit on the Vneshekon bank.
So that, in spite of all our enemies.
banks, children and "dough" in the care of daddy!
And Patrushev has some poor kids,
They need to read the account number in the book, too.
So that while the oil is buzzing, sitting quietly in the bank,
to control the credit of the oil industry.
I'm not cocky, I'm not a tank. But neither am I, daddy,
both Rosneft and Vneshtorgbank were six very good!
I would have skimmed the cream or the foam off them, too.
I would have had Matvienka's offspring helping me with that.
I'd buy a steam locomotive and fuck off,
I'd go to the forums in Davos with chicks.
I'd save my money without wasting it,
I'd buy myself a yacht with it, you hear, father?
I'd make a chair out of gold in every bilge,
I'd sit in the State Duma with Ksenia Sobchak,
To declare war on poverty beautifully,
To love my country - my motherland, Russia!
 
Reshetov:
Is it likely that the company representatives are lying? How can it work with an uncut finger but not with a severed one? The fingerprints are the same whether the finger is cut or uncut. And it's unlikely that anyone in the company will agree to test for lies or not, because such a test can only be done in the Japanese Soviet Socialist Republic. Therefore, they will check on the streets. So, device owners should buy iron gloves or, even better, knight's gaits; otherwise, their limbs will be in trouble - they will not be able to tear off a finger, or cut off a hand.
Exactly, a finger up to the neck. vbjrgic
 

what is that?

 
The sweetest and fluffiest, kindest, warmest, cleanest,
Super beautiful, super playful!
Super fashionable, interesting, modern, and famous!
With a cool beat, with a cool bass, if necessary with ganjubas,
♪ If you want a tasty beer to make the night go away ♪
♪ Or with the smell of colour, in general, super-duper dreams!
 

I am writing to you

"I'm writing to you in the kitchen by candlelight
With the intimate hum of a microwave,
There's a glass of Zubovka in front of me..."
No, it's no good... There's no brilliance in a poem like that.

"I write to you in pince-nez and tailcoat,
with my left hand in Spanish,
And in my right hand I hold a glass of champagne..."
Wrong again... I'll try this:

"I write to you in blood on the petals
"I write the refrain of my last farewell.
Adieu! The steel muzzle of a gun
Antonio holds at my temple..."

...I would have written you another verse,
But the orderlies have turned off the lights...

I snuggle up to you.

I'm hugging you, whispering in your ear:
Oh, how beautiful you are! I want you so much!
You're silent, like you've fallen into a coma...
All right, let's do it another way.

I'll undo the collar of your shirt,
I'll tickle your ear...
And that doesn't turn you on!
Come on, honey, what's going on?

I'm going to put my right foot all around your waist!
Oh, how good it is that the sundress is wide!
You say it's uncomfortable?!
Well, you're like a chump! That's great!

Attack! Take your clothes off!
I'll kiss you! You're mine! Only mine!
Are you uncomfortable even now!?
Another thought!!! I see!

Your indifference will kill me!
Oh... I'm sorry. You're driving.
 
rvv2006:

what is that?

It's photoshop.)
 

Bitch, somebody spooked me.

The orbit of asteroid J002E3, which passed close to Earth in 2002-2003 and then suddenly flew back

I don't think it was an asteroid at all.

It was aliens.

They looked at us, thought, and... went home.

 
A customer calls Arrl support:
- Why aren't there any porn apps in the Arrstore?
- People who have iPhones get them more often.
- Lately they don't give them to me. Is this a warranty case?
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