Humour - page 9

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PapaYozh:

From the 5th forum:

http://www.free-lance.ru/projects/1152666/neobhodima-programmistka-s-znaniem-novogo-zaveta.html

Hired a crane electrician from a monastery. In three months' time, I'll report on the effect of strict vows on workplace incident statistics.
 
THE NASTY CREATURE
I don't know about you, but our backyard is so tidy that even the housefly has become a rarity. With its insistence and omnipresence it has broken the record and become a proverb: "It's as annoying as a fly!", we often hear someone's annoyance.

I still shudder to recall the disgust I felt when, entering a house (I think there was only one house), I carelessly turned around and touched a black cloth hanging by the cooker and was taken aback by a swarm of flies that landed on what turned out to be a towel. Oh, how I hated that creature! And then suddenly flew in this fly and impudently sat in front of me on a notebook! Instantly, my hand rushed to grab this thing ... Missed once, twice ... Each time it took off earlier, making adjustments to the speed of my palm, and sat insolently on the same spot again! Puzzled, thinking of a way to catch the cheeky one, I sat staring at the six-legged creature, which, having apparently had a good snack recently, was continuing the cleansing interrupted by our dexterity contest. It strenuously rubbed its front limbs, then, like a machine with wipers, wiped its lovely eyes a few times... Remarkable how? And remember the wall of working televisions on display in the shop, with a different programme on each screen. So take a closer look at the huge visual organs of insects. For millions of years, they've inherited this wondrous device. Look: both eyes seem to be covered with a mesh, where each cell is a separate eye, seeing only its angle of view, and all together a window to the world, similar to our television. Isn't it amazing? And the fly has already started wiping its wings... It's a miracle that mankind probably won't achieve any time soon.

The nature amazes by the mechanics of wings: the thinnest cover with the strongest material and the system of wing steering enabling the fly to fly in any direction, which can be compared with the helicopter! But here a fly has brushed its abdomen, swept something off its proboscis, brushed its foot against its paw again, sat up and suddenly flew out the same window.

One can tell almost fairy-tale stories about each organ of this little body, because, in spite of the conviction of some "scientists" in omniscience, we are still so far from revealing many secrets of even the smallest elements of the organism.

The infinity of evolution of the biological cell is beyond grasping by the eternal mind!
 
 
granit77:
I hired a crane electrician from a monastery. I'll report back in three months... affects the strictness of the vows. on the statistics of industrial accidents.

Wow! What statistics you have there!

That's terrible...!

 

 

Yesterday my son did a riddle:
- The boys and girls are practising at the swimming pool. Which of them swims and which one swims?
After five minutes of philosophizing about it (which later turned out to be
- I give up, and my son announces victoriously:
- Boys in swimming trunks mean swimming and girls in swimming costumes mean swimming.


 
PapaYozh:

Wow! That's quite a statistic you have there!
That's terrible...!

It's not horrible. An incident, according to Rostechnadzor terminology, is a process violation without significant consequences, recorded in the production control log (unwashed hands, no mat at the switchboard, careless attitude to safety regulations, etc.). In three months, we will find out what kind of person he is and whether it is worth working with him further.
 
- Hello, is this the pharmacy?
- No, it's an office, but it's full of pricks!
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