Humour - page 88

 

Anecdotes? OK :)

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Today I was running after a bus, the driver stopped and started waiting, and I took it and ran past.

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If you dial *100# on the intercom, you'll know how much money is in the house.

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- Honey, you're looking pretty good... I feel like you have sex more often than I do!

---

- Why are you so sad?
- We went boar hunting with the guys! The boar didn't come... So we drank like pigs. And then the boar came...

 
If you write cribs on thousand-dollar notes, an attempt by the teacher to take the cribs away from the student is extortion.
 

A man in a bank reading a thick mortgage agreement. Clerk:
- Have you read it? Anything confusing to you?
- Yeah, right there, paragraph 1594, clause 18:
"The customer's forehead shall be branded with the bank's logo... "

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Judging by the texts I got on my birthday, my best friends are the bank and the cell phone company.

 
drknn: Doesn't it seem that the existence and absence of an object are different concepts?

Exactly. Let's quote again (the colour highlights are mine):

drknn : Well, that's nonsense. Infinity always refers to the absence of a limit.

lim(sin(x); x -> infinity) does not exist. But it's not infinity at all.

Let's not talk about something that others don't normally associate with a sense of humour.

 
drknn:

Anecdotes? OK :)

---

Today I was running after a bus, the driver stopped and started waiting, and I took it and ran past.

---

Another one:

The bus is standing at the bus stop. The driver observes the man running towards the bus stop and thinks: --- I wonder if he will make it or not. Just in front of him, he closes the bus doors and drives off, "Oh, pity I didn't make it!

 
khorosh:

Another option:

A bus stands at the bus stop. The driver observes the man running towards the bus stop and thinks: "I wonder if he'll make it in time. Just in front of him, he closes the bus doors and drives off, "Oh, too bad he missed it!

That's not a joke.

I had a friend who served with me, and this was a story about his father. He was a man who cut it off. He lived in the village of Enem near Krasnodar. One day he gathered his aunts and grandmothers and took them to the collective farm market in town. He warned everyone: "I won't wait for anyone! "You can check your watch, it's three o'clock sharp!"

Five minutes to three: he starts the engine, warms it up. The women rush in with the bags from almost all sides, knowing his character and that he'll leave without them without blinking an eye.

14-59: Three broads in place, one missing. He puts his hand on the steering wheel and looks at the second hand... The chickens start yelling, "There she is! Look, she's running!" He looks in the mirror - she's really running at full speed with her hands full of consumer goods.

14-59-45: The catchphrase: "I wonder if she'll make it."

15-00: "... eh, didn't make it..."

 

At missile force headquarters:
- Today the order for a 10% reduction in staffing came in. Is that clear?
- Yes...
- Now for the details: I think we should start with Texas, Florida, Alabama...

 
Gorizont:

At missile force headquarters:
- Today the order for a 10% reduction in staffing came in. Is that clear?
- Yes...
- Now for the details: I think we should start with Texas, Florida, Alabama...

+100

 
Mathemat:

Exactly. Quote again (the colour highlights are mine):

lim(sin(x); x -> infinity) does not exist. But it's not infinity at all.

Let's not talk about something that others don't normally associate with a sense of humour.


Sorry, I didn't know there was abstract algebra - we've all been taught different things. Just from a common sense point of view, lumping infinities together is a delusional idea :)))))))))

 
drknn:


Sorry, I didn't know there was abstract algebra - we've all been taught different things. Just from a common sense point of view, lumping infinities together is a delusional idea :)))))))))


You need to watch this film. http://www.ex.ua/view/14239230 Very interesting.