Humour - page 57
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This is gallium - melting point: 29.8 C
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"She drowned" comes from "he died".
http://putnik1.livejournal.com/1725204.html
"She drowned" comes from "he's dead".
I don't think so. It was only later (many years later...) that the obliging "interpreters" of Putin's statements rushed to lick him in the ass.
Is "flush the toilet" also the equivalent of Fleming's "He's dead!" ?
Rabinovitch, strolling around Vatican noticed a huge line at one of churches. When he asked what they were standing in line for, he found out that the faithful were standing in line for a place in paradise. After standing in line he entered and demanded to be sold to him Hell, all of it. Of course, at first he was refused, but after making a big fuss, he got the Pope to take a personal interest in the cause of the fuss and ordered him to sell Rabinovitch what he was asking for. They quickly haggled over 10 thousand euros.
Having received an indulgence signed and personally stamped by the Pope stating that all Hell had been sold to him for 10 thousand Euros, Rabinovitch turned to the people standing in line:
- That's it! You have nothing more to stand for! I've bought the whole Hell, now you've got nowhere to go but Heaven! You may disperse...
The sale of seats to Heaven immediately went out of business. The worried Pope, realizing his mistake, asked Rabinovitch to sell him Hell back.
Rabinovitch, on second thought, started the bidding... with 10 million.
***
Just getting on with life, bang! Vacation's over...
***
A petty officer walks around the line of recruits:
- So, what's your education?
- Seven grades!
- Good!
- And you?
- MSU!
- Why are you mooing? Can you even read?
***
- All the newspapers are full of occult ads like "I'll bring back my husband". But there are no 'wife back' ads. I wonder why?
- There's no demand. What kind of fool would pay that kind of money for an old wife when he could buy a new one for that much?
***
A sad man walks along the ocean shore, sees a bottle, opens it and out pops a gin:
- Oh, my saviour! You saved me from 400 years of imprisonment, say three wishes, but take note - I am a female genie. So your wife will have a hundred times as much as you wish for yourself.
- Well, I'm old now, I need a small house for a quiet life. A small mansion appeared on the shore and next to it a huge palace for my wife.
- Secondly, I need $1 million to live a peaceful life for the rest of my life.
It came true, and next to the palace there was a bank with my wife's initials on it.
- And the third - make me a small such MICROINFARCTIC!..!
***
The grumpy landlady fired the maid. As the maid was on her way out, she threw three coins to the dog.
- What does it mean? - shouted the mistress.
- Don't worry, madam, she's earned it. In the three months I worked for you, she always licked the plates clean.
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