[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 69
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Letter to support Hello, Mr Provider!
This is your user. Could you please help me out. My internet connection is broken today.
Yesterday it was working but today I tried to open Yandex, but the monitor said that it can't display the page.
can't display the page. My computer buddy said it might be because
that the internet is broken. Can you fix it, please, or give me another internet for the time being, because I really need to open Yandex.
Because I really need to open Yandex, there was an important link for me yesterday.
information for me. But today even pings to Yandex are not coming, and about traserta it is visible that the intermediate
server is in down time, but do what you want: change routing table, DNS-servers. I don't
I don't care how you get around it, but the fact that all your traffic's going through a dead server
doesn't bother me, that's not what I'm paying you for.
Response:
Hello Dear User!
This is your ISP. We apologise for the interruptions in internet service and
We would like to assure you that this is not our fault but that it is the fault of our parent organisation.
We do, however, care for our users and should this happen again, we ask you to
In the unlikely event that such a situation should arise again, we would ask you to make use of our in-house developed software, which can be found in the annex of this letter.
which you will find enclosed in this letter. All you need to do is to run this program and it will create a new Internet connection for you.
The best way to connect to the Internet is to connect to your computer via a public network, using a web interface.
Although you could have guessed to use a live anonymous proxy yourself because I'm not
I'm not going to change the routing table for every downer on someone else's server.
to administer the servers, you half-assed lame-ass.
Huh...thanks, that's nice :)
Цифровые стихи
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2 Integer: Real True Strings. Class!
The teacher is scribbling scary formulas on the blackboard.
Students: who are writing, who are listening to music.
At the Galerka, three of them are playing cards.
Suddenly one of them throws a card wrong, the other two throw it to him:
- B**, are you out of your mind?!
Teacher:
- Yeah, yeah, let me explain.
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A physics exam. The professor's really pissed off and decides to fail all the students. The first student walks in, the professor asks him:
- "You're on the bus, you're hot, what do you do?
- Open the window.
- Correct. Now calculate the changes in the aerodynamics of the bus caused by opening the window.
- Uh....
- Go, two.
In the same way, it knocks out a few more students. A student walks in.
- Girl, imagine, you're riding the bus, you're hot, what do you do?
- Me? I'll take my top off.
- No, you don't understand, you're very hot.
- Well, I'll take off my blouse, too.
- Well, no, it's too hot!
- Well, I'll take off my skirt.
- ?????
- I don't care if the whole bus fucks me, I won't open the window!!!
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