[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 603

 

The point is that I have made a discovery. In my days as an advertising agent and travelling salesman, I had more than once had to correct errors, and here I had invented a clever trick called the doctrine of scientific determinism. The earth was a touchstone, which is why I remembered it. A tall bearded old man with a piercing gaze came to me to order a planet. (That's how your Earth began, Karmody.) I got the job done quickly, in about six days, I think, and already thought all the difficulties were over. As here, it was an ordinary order with a design and an estimate, and, as here, I cut some things back. But you should have listened to this customer! You'd have thought I'd robbed him blind, stolen his eyes from his face.

"Why so many hurricanes?" - he pestered.

"It's part of the ventilation system," I replied. (Truth be told, I was in a bit of a hurry at the time and simply forgot to put a safety valve in the atmosphere.)

"Three quarters of the planet is flooded with water! - he grumbled. - I've clearly put in the terms that the ratio of land to water is four to one!"

"But we can't afford that," I explained. (And I shoved his stupid conditions somewhere long ago. I never keep those ridiculous one-planet projects.)

"And such a tiny landmass you've filled with deserts, swamps, jungles and mountains!"

"It's scenic," I pointed out.

"I don't give a shit about stagey! - rumbled the bloke. - 'One ocean, a dozen lakes, a few rivers, one or two mountain ranges - it's enough to beautify the area and create a good mood. And what have you slipped me? Marriage!"

"There's a reason for that," I said. (In fact, you couldn't meet the estimate without slipping in, among other things, second-hand mountains, an ocean and a couple of deserts that I bought cheaply from the interplanetary junkman Urini. But don't tell me about it!)

"Reason! - he groaned. - What am I going to tell my people? I am putting an entire race, maybe even two or three, on this planet. They will be people created in my image, with an eye as sharp as mine. What should I tell them?"

I knew what to tell them and where to send them. But I didn't want to be rude. I wanted to find a proper explanation. And I did find a thing - a trick to all tricks.

"Just tell them the scientific truth," I declared. - Tell them that's how it's supposed to be scientifically."

"How-how?"

"It's determinism," I said (the name came impromptu). - It's quite simple, despite being somewhat esoteric. First of all: form follows from content. Therefore, your planet is exactly as it should be by its very nature. Next: science is unchanging, therefore everything that changes is unscientific. And finally, everything follows from the laws of nature. You cannot know in advance what those laws are, but rest assured that they exist. So no one should ask, "Why so and not otherwise?" The question should be, "How does it work?"

 
 
found another sharply plotted development of a dolboe.by-type deposit, but in a slightly different way: http://qo.do.am
 
Even though I watched it several times a long time ago, still under the table.....
 
Awesome! Thanks for the video!
 
granit77:
Why imagine? We saw it all in Danelia's Kin-dza-dza. And the result is one of them.
:-)