Interesting and Humour - page 728
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Discrediting Russian cows! They are not milked. Any cow will give 10-15 litres a day.
But it's a shame about Russian cows, some European ones being bought for a hundred thousand rubles apiece...
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Sounds like you bought the whole operation with the herd.
To be honest, I didn't particularly like the style of the description either. Like, anyone who is not lazy can easily organize such a thing: to buy ruins, run after the herd, save a little on transportation ...
It takes five minutes and two requests
So, a person at work gets a task. For a real programmer, it's a trifle, even if he or she has never seen VBA or Excel. To solve it, it takes only 15 minutes to understand basic (assignment, condition, loop) syntax of such a simple language like Basic, and ask a couple of questions to the built-in help or Google on the names of functions that implement reading-writing of Excel cells. The rest is a simple algorithm on a schoolboy level. At the worst, it will take you an hour. What does a nagging freeloader do? He goes looking for a solution on the Internet. He finds it for the money, gets insulted to the core, and goes off to beg on the forums.
This is where the dog is buried. Contrary to popular belief, most gurus are friendly to newcomers. We are happy to help you in difficult moments, suggest the right section in mana, share our own experiences on what is not in mana, give a general idea of the algorithm, in the end. But don't ask us to do all the work for you. It is you who will get money for it, while in four out of five cases you are too lazy to even say "thank you" to us. In addition, do not forget that we help out of enthusiasm and interest, and turning an idea into a final result is a technique, a chore, a bore.
Why do we not ignore freeloaders, but send them to mana and do other perverse nastiness? First, trolling the whiny freeloader is sometimes fun. Secondly, sometimes you are in a bad mood, you want to distract yourself, you look for an interesting question, you see another freeloader and snap. Third, if he does not respond, then he will create five more of the same type of threads, will regularly apat them ("NO ONE KNOW?"), using the magic words "ASAP!!!", "HELP!!!", "HELP!!!" - and ends up walking away with the belief that everyone on this forum is a fool and no one knows the solution to his "super complex" problem.
A certain percentage of people can be reeducated. They learn to ask questions correctly, start reading the manuals and do the routine themselves, and even say thank you - a small thing, but a pleasant one. It's a pity the percentage is small. But I don't pity the others: quality is more important than quantity.
Dedicated to all customers in the service work! To understand how a programmer's brain works!
The wife sends the programmer to the shop:
- Darling, please buy a stick of sausage, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen.
Half an hour later the programmer returns with ten sticks of sausage. Wife:
- What's this! Why did you buy so much sausage?
Programmer:
- Well, they were eggs.
Think when you write your terms of reference!
What's that? Oh... Is it getting clamped? Is there an original video?
I have observed this situation once before. It's only funny at first...
Epilepsy in a kitten (
The state order is the last link in the normal economy.
Indeed, why are we all buying foreign cars instead of Zhiguli?
And why is one kilometre of Nord Stream pipe four times more expensive from our side than from the German side? Even though it's a goddamn state order.
Well, first of all, not everyone buys foreign cars.
Secondly, in a normal economy, the state order is not the last link.
In our country, the state order really won't help the enterprise. Here I was dreaming. Business development is definitely not going to happen.
Ivan Davydov on what Chuck Norris should be prosecuted for