Interesting and Humour - page 2119
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Russian dance
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Grebennikov's platform secret revealed
Viktor Stepanovich Grebennikov (April 23, 1927, Simferopol - April 10, 2001, Novosibirsk) was a Russian entomologist and apidologist, animalist, insect breeder and conservationist, and author of several books on bees. He is also known for his statements on the discovery and study of the "cavity effect" and the creation of a gravitoplane - an antigravitational aircraft based on this effect, which Grebennikov described in his book "My World" in 1997.
Wife:
- God, the wrong way round...
Husband:
- Right.
Why are my socks under the chair a disaster, but your used cotton disks all over the flat are an interior element?
Why does leaving an empty plate in the fridge surprise you, but you think it's perfectly normal to pour soup from a large pot first into a medium one, then into a small one, and finally into a bowl?
Why do you ask me to take you to meet my friends and then whine that you're bored and tired and want to go home?
Where did you get the idea that I was born with a degree in electricity and plumbing?
Why do you snort contemptuously when you see Seagal on screen and are mortally offended that I don't want to watch another Nine and Five Weeks with you?
Why do you get so annoyed when I look in pots and so angry if I'm not interested in your cooking?
Tell me why I have to admire Angelina Jolie too, even though I like Pamela Anderson, whom you can't stand?
Why does a man who is complaining of ailments cause you to make a never-ending stream of sarcastic remarks, and why, after setting an example, with a fever of 39 you start a general cleaning?
Why, after using up the rest of your shaving gel on your bikini area, are you so jealously guarding your shampoo against encroachment?
Why, when you throw out some of my stuff, you innocently bat your eyes and say that you have no idea what this is about, it's not your fault and I have to look after my stuff myself, but every morning you demand that I roll around the flat with you in search of your hairbrush?
Why do you spend an hour in the mirror before going out and then claim I'm always waiting for you?
Why are you unhappy with a crumpled up towel when your panties and bra are always drying in their rightful place in the bathroom?
Why do you get furious when you find fingernails on the floorboard, but hair in a pot of borscht is quite normal for you?
Why do you complain that buying winter tyres for your car is more important to me than buying new shoes for your wife, even though the phrase "public transport" makes you sick?
Why do you wash your socks with white shirts and mine with floor cloths?
Why are you embarrassed to buy condoms and send me to the supermarket every month for pads?
Why are you so convinced that the mirror in the bathroom is all my fault?
Why do you snuggle up to me and then it turns out you only wanted me to scratch your back?
Why do you insist that I get rid of my dumbbells that you are always tripping over because they take up so much space, but you never want to get rid of your rusty sewing machine, even though you were sewing in the seventh grade?
Why do you have to spend half the night discussing our relationship, and when I ask you to make me breakfast in the morning, you call me a monster who won't let you sleep?
Why do you spend two hours a day on the phone complaining to your girlfriend that you've gained weight and have no time to go to the gym?
Why are you harassing me for three months with a shelf if you haven't decided where to put it?
Why do you expect me to be creative when choosing a gift, but you have been giving me a "Old Spice" perfume set for years?
Why do you first say you're turned on by stubble and then say, "Go away, you're colicky"?
Why is it that if you give me an order (to fix the wiring, move a piano, drill a hole punch) and it's not done in five minutes, you defiantly roll up your sleeves and do it yourself?
Why is it that when I call you from the shop and ask you what to buy, you say "I don't need anything" and when I come home you suddenly find that we have no potatoes, no bread and no washing powder?
When I drive to work: it's asleep.
When I eat crap at lunch: It's asleep.
When I come home late at night: it's asleep.
When I'm doing my chores: it goes to eat.
When I go to bed: it starts to wander around the flat and for the third week it's been catching that fly andRUNNING THINGS Rustle BAGS AND WIRES YELLING MATTERS CLICKING ON THE WALL RUNNING BETWEEN ME PICKED UP ON THE BLOOD AND MARKED AT THE BUTTONY YELLING AND WALKING again Almost inaudibly crunching its food And then then wander around the flat, muzzle into drawers, roll a bottle of champagne around the flat from a meeting in 2005 and at the end of the middling 20 minutes it tries to put its own shit in a plastic tray.
When I wake up: it's asleep.
I love cats
My love,
Why...
Man, it's just like me. Exactly.
Are they all the same?