Interesting and Humour - page 1022
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Contender:
Сидите тут и не знаете.
It'snot that simple (quote from there):
So a woman with small breasts, by leaning on a man for years, contributes to reducing his risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
Almost got it! :))))
Easily
Come on, goodbye.
Space probe makes first-ever trip outside the solar system
How do the ...
- English: leave without saying goodbye;
- Jews: say goodbye, but don't leave;
- Cypriots: leave with 10% of your money.
***
Ask a friend the following question: is Winnie the Pooh a pig or a boar?
And enjoy...
90% answer pig, though the correct answer is bear.
***
I have allergies in the form of a runny nose. Doctor prescribed the latest antihistamine. Side effects: drowsiness, eye pain, tinnitus, nervousness, insomnia, cramps, dry mouth, vomiting, depression, gastritis, diarrhoea, constipation, migraine, nosebleeds.
I'm sitting here thinking - what the hell about the runny nose?
Onthe Cypriot theme
Germany sticks a sausage on a fork and looks at it in anticipation. Cyprus enters.Cyprus, picking the carpet with his toe:
Give me a hand, for Christ's sake...ugh, not like that.
We have the honour to humbly ask
A tranche of credit. Ten billions.
Germany, regretfully pushing back the sausage plate and leafing through the ledger:
And how much can be poured into it,
Where there's no change and can't be?
Cyprus, staring faithfully in the eye:
I swear we'll fuck it up...I mean, give it back!
Germany:
Figassa! That's Freudian!
Who's got a lot of money
in bank accounts?
Cyprus, swallowing nervously:
The Russians!
Germany, squinting:
I don't get it - are you an imbecile or what?
I don't have to teach you how to take money!
Introduce a one-off tax,
and we'll help you with the tranche, all right.
Cyprus, grabbing his head:
Do you know what you're suggesting?
The stuffing can't be spun back,
And you sleep with a virgin once in your life:
No one will give us after that!
Germany, admonishingly lifting up a sausage fork:
And I warned you, zuidlich Freund,
You should be more careful with your loans.
Are we the EU or are we a dick?
You'll have to take credit from your own!
Cyprus, hiding a bottle of anise vodka under the table, exhaling to the side and sitting down right in front of the TV camera lens:
"And only by the will of the European Union that sent me...
of the European Union (to the side) fuck it up the glands!
(to camera) Imposing a tax on bank deposits.
No grease. Apologies, if anything.
Germany, looking at the TV and sipping a beer:
Well, it's organics down the tubes!
Put a plus sign on the election programme.
Russian oligarchs, chorus, dropping caviar sandwiches:
We're going down! Offshore as far as the eye can see!
Not by understanding! It's outrageous!
The press and the internet, bubbling and bubbling and bubbling:
Hooray! Hooray! We're screwed again!
But it's the rich who get the most!
The deputy, adjusting his mourning suit:
Idiots! Why are you so excited?
Just because they're taking away a prize from an alcoholic,
Doesn't mean he'll drink less:
He'll cut his family's rations!
Russia, dialing the phone of Cyprus:
What are you doing? Who are you playing with, boy?
Shall I send a flotilla of collectors?
Cyprus, hiccuping on the other end of the line:
I'll explain everything! I'll send a minister.
And a suitcase full of S&M!
Gazprom, stroking the pipeline thoughtfully:
I'll buy your debt. For all the oilfields.
Cyprus, crossing himself finely:
To kill ourselves with that gas pipe?
Go to hell. Here's your cane and compass.
Gazprom, shrugging:
Look. My business is to suggest.
The Cypriot finance minister enters the Kremlin with a suitcase.
Cyprus, after a while, in front of a TV camera, no longer hides the aniseed vodka:
There won't be a Keynes. And no tax, either, by the way.
(looking to the side questioningly).
Comrade, did I say it right?
Germany, disappointedly putting aside his empty beer glass and turning away from the TV:
Oh, Chaise! You screwed up such a porno!
Well, wait till you see me again!
Spain seeks bailout in bitcoins )
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-03/20/bitcoin-spain-currency-run