Interesting and Humour - page 4574
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Vladimir, if you want to debate on this subject, read all that has been written about it in the last pages of the thread.
I didn't get it.)
Forget it. It's just that a couple of days before this discussion started, a weirdo under the letter M did exactly that: he turned left and the grass grows... I almost ran into him. And there's a picture of the guy who's turning on the indicator...
That's it, I've calmed down and I'm out of the discussion.
Forget it. It's just that a couple of days before this discussion started, a weirdo with an M in his name did exactly that: he turned left and the grass grows... I almost ran into him. And there's a picture here of a guy who turns on his indicator...
That's it, I've calmed down after that **dick and I'm quitting the discussion.
Yeah, your posts give me the impression he'd better drive without turning on the indicator (to hit you in the rear for sure).
Doesn't it seem strange that most forum users do not understand you? For me - if a man can not calculate the actions of others, do not drive fast, and run with all in the flow. Just like in the forex game.)
There was a funny one on the forum yesterday, he even created a thread with a title like "Everyone else is to blame - I'm the only good one"..
Here's one for motorists, especially in winter soon
KMK for snow will do
First Rule of the Exchange. Who knows - doesn't tell, who tells - doesn't know. The second Rule of the Exchange. If everyone thinks prices will go up, prices won't go up.
The rich trader travels along the road, he sees a fork in front, three roads, a stone, and there is an inscription on the stone:
He started to think: "If you go left, you will get a moose; if you go right, you will get a moose; if you go straight, you will get a moose". Then a voice from above: "Hey, decide quickly, or you'll get a moose right here!!!"
The trader goes to the other side.
Since he didn't have any particular sins, he was sent to Heaven.
An angel meets him in Paradise and asks him to make a wish.
-I wish that there would be Forex here and I would be able to trade!
- It is impossible!
- But why - there are so many people here, there are probably many former traders who would like to trade!
- Impossible!
- But why?
- There are no brokers in Paradise.
The director of a brokerage company is interviewing applicants for the position of a salesperson: - So, what's your degree? - Seven grades! - Good! (laughs) - What's yours? - MSU! - Why are you mooing, can you read?
From an interview with a trader: - How did you achieve such success? In one month you have 100 thousand dollars in your account? - Nothing complicated. I opened a million-dollar deposit a month ago.
The ideal trader does not drink, does not smoke, does not gamble, never argues and does not exist.
Three economic analysts on the hunt. They see a big deer. One takes aim, shoots, misses, one meter to the left. The second one aims and shoots, missed - one metre to the right. The third analyst, without shooting: "Well, we killed him on average!"
Two traders meet and one asks the other:
- What are you, a bull or a bear?
The second one looked at him with sad eyes and said: "I am a goat:
- I'm a goat, a goat...
A phrase from the PAMM Manager's agreement for trust management of client's funds:
"In case of unforeseen success...".
- Why did you decide to work at the stock exchange? Do you have any experience or economic background?
I watched "The Wolf of Wall Street".
What is the true ratio on the market of the rouble, the dollar and the pound? - A pound of roubles is worth exactly one dollar.
Two traders are talking:
- I still can't sleep after that financial crisis.
- And I was sleeping like a baby.
- No way! What do you mean?
- I wake up every hour and cry and cry!
- Doctor, I have a mental disability, help me!
- Why?
- I don't know... Other traders tell me that they get 100% a month and more. I'm barely making it out of the suckers.
- So tell me about it.
End of the trading day. Exhausted traders sit staring stupidly at their terminals. The analyst comes in and says, "Guys, the buffet's closed." Traders go, "Yeah? How much is it closed...?"
Daddy, I want to be a trader.
Over my dead body.
Well, anyway, I've already lost 100 grand in the stock market...
Two traders come out of the exchange, one in pants, the other completely naked. The naked one says to the one in pants:
-"Vasya, what I respect you for, you can stop in time.
A mid-term trader and a scribe meet. The scribe asks what do you do? He answers: "I'm waiting for the profit rather than the loss. And you? The scribe answers: I'm saving for a bull.
Daughter says to mother - Mom, I'm marrying a trader!
Mother says: "You are crazy, my daughter, he is rich today and poor tomorrow, better to marry an analyst, he is always happy!
PAMM manager picks up a new office space from a realtor. Realtor:
- I understand the area and the layout, but which floor is better, lower or higher?
The trader, after thinking for a while:
- Let's go higher, so the clients can get out...
Two tired traders come home from work after a hard day's work. One says to the other: "Listen, the underground has already closed! - "Yeah, at what price?"
Financial company: We monitor, market, factor, forfeit, organise trading, margin, clearing, leasing, provide consultancy, as well as obergoring, stibbing and swapping.
From the chat room of a Forex dealing centre:
People, how do you make money here?
In different ways, but for a start on the demo - to learn.
I've already been on the demo. I want to make some real money. How do I make 10 thousand quid?
You start by opening an account for 20 thousand, and you'll get to 10.
Oh, that carry trade!
- I know what you mean!
- No, you don't!
- I understand perfectly.
- You don't understand. You don't even have a deposit.
- I had one yesterday.
Two traders are standing outside the toilet and one asks the other:
- Are you going long or short?
Two traders sit at their computers and work. One gets distracted and looks out the window. There's the first snow. And he dreamily says: "It's snowing". The other one keeps looking at his monitor: "Is it falling? I have to buy it."
What is the difference between an investor and a speculator? A speculator buys cheaply and sells expensively, while an investor buys expensively and cannot sell at all.
Two traders set off on a hot-air balloon trip. Suddenly there was a strong wind and the buddies went astray.
As they descended to a height of 20 metres, they saw a man below: "Hey, buddy, tell me where we are?" "You're in a hot air balloon 20 metres above the ground."
"The answer is absolutely accurate and completely useless. Looks like we've met a stock analyst!"
"Yes. And you must be traders, you never know where you are."
A big financial corporation. A trader is riding in a lift. The lift opens on one of the floors and an analyst enters carrying a pile of charts, books and notebooks. The trader looks at him contemptuously and says:
- So, you're going to say up or down now, you bastard?
Two traders meet. -Do you remember how I said a month ago that I was doing poorly in the market? Well, it turned out to be pretty good back then.
A trader has other pleasures in life besides other people's Stop-Losses.
The trader comes to the chiromancer:
- You can tell the future by the lines, can't you?
- Yes, of course I do, all of them: past, present and future.
- Great," said the trader and laid out a stack of printouts of stock charts in front of him.
From analyst reports: Today, during another crash in the US stock market, shares of revolver maker Smith & Wesson went up sharply. Commodity markets also saw a surge in hemp and soap sales...
An experienced trader teaches a newcomer: - Remember, when opening a position, a smart man always doubts everything. Only a fool can be completely sure of something. - Are you sure of that, maître? - Absolutely.
The broker found himself out of a job, got a job at the market selling vegetables.
A man approaches the seller: - How much for potatoes?
Ex-broker: - bid or offer?
A trader comes to a friend and asks to borrow a large sum of money: - What do you need it for? - I know a way to make money on Forex. I just need some money. - You are an educated man, you know the theory of probability, and your reasoning is like that of a boy. It's impossible to make money in the Forex market! - Let's make a bet, you buy me a bottle of expensive cognac if I get rich. Six months later, the trader comes for the cognac. The friend asks in surprise: - But how did you get rich? - I bought a dealing centre.
Armenian radio:
- What do sperm traders and traders have in common?
- There are millions of both, and only few manage to survive and multiply.
There are traders scurrying around on the stock exchange, each with three phones, all shouting:
- Bring it to two! Take it! Drop ten and sell! Four down!
Suddenly one of the traders shuts up, looks out the window. It's winter, it's beautiful... And he says:
- Man, it's snowing...
There's an instant silence in the room. And a second later, there's a scream:
- "Sell!
Trading is a constant movement: some move their brains, some flap their ears...
The traders are driving in a car through the city.
The traffic starts at a traffic light and one car keeps rushing from one lane to another, cutting off everyone, but at the next traffic light they all drive up together... and so on three times... One trader asks another:
- Do you happen to know where these drivers come from?
- It's probably a pip trader.
The new Russian attended lectures on stock trading and calls his friend: "Kolya, I was at the stock trading course and the lecturer told me that stocks don't grow without
without kickbacks. It turns out that here, too, we have to spend money on kickbacks - it's outrageous!
A happy new client of an investment company, after signing an agreement, goes out into the street, sees a fortune-teller and holds out his palm: - "I want a fortune-teller, my dear! The gypsy woman looks at his hand: - What is there to guess: it is too late...
Stop loss is a predetermined amount of loss, at which the trader can still control himself.
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They said 120 degrees and it's set for minus 60 degrees.