Humour - page 383

New comment
 
...iodine azide.... got it chemically when I was a kid - didn't smear anything on myself...explodes
 
 
 

A cargo of Japanese whisky delivered to the ISS for scientific purposes

"The crew, however, will not be able to drink whisky in space..." (с)

Naive ;-)))

 
Numerous psychological trainings promise to reveal "classified" information: "How to build a relationship?"
And it is incomprehensible how mankind, to this generation who have not passed this course, has not yet become extinct. It is true that "relationships" are understood differently in trainings for women and for men.

The female audience is taught:
"How to get him to the registry office so that on the way not to escape," "How to quickly and easily marry the man of his dreams," "How to get out for a young, beautiful, intelligent, rich Muscovite, if you - stupid, uneducated old maid with a residence permit in the Upper Gryazischi" and so on.

Men, on the other hand, are coached:
"How to get her to have sex on the first date", "How to seduce her without spending a penny".

Can you imagine what would happen if two graduates of such courses met? You could sell front-row tickets and place bets!

(c)


PS Betting is cooler than forex ;-)))

 
An elderly couple visits another one like it. While the grandmothers are fiddling in the kitchen, the grandfathers are chatting in the room.
- We went to a new restaurant last week, didn't like it.
- What kind of restaurant?
- Shit, it slipped my mind. What's the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?
- A tulip?
- No.
- Dahlia?
- No.
- A rose?
- That's right, a rose.
(towards the kitchen):

- Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last week?

 
Don't get involved with a man who uses yo.
He is a scary person.

If he is not too lazy to reach for the yo, he will reach for you too!


 
Pure criminality.

Having turned on a computer with an unlicensed Windows, I downloaded a game from a torrent and cynically escalated my copyright infringement by watching a screen copy of a new film and downloading a new music album by a little-known artist...

Taking the dog out, I crossed the road in the wrong place. There were no cars or witnesses. I won't get caught.
Needless to say, the dog was walking without a muzzle...
Once you're on the slippery slope of crime, it's hard to stop...

Cynically smoking five, not fifteen meters from the bus stop...
Participated in an undeclared social event. We criminal elements gathered at the bus stop and discussed the quality of roads in our neighbourhood, then, without waiting for the riot police, left the scene in minibuses.

Having been paid in an envelope, I realised that I was contributing to a tax law violation, but criminal life is so appealing, so when I caught the private bomber, thereby pushing him into breaking the law on private hauling...
There was nothing left to lose - so I didn't buckle up.

Bearing in mind the law that prohibits drinking alcoholic beverages in public places, I still drank a bottle of beer in the square, taking advantage of the absence of witnesses and police.
And at home I found a way to get on a website blocked by Rospotrebnadzor...

Watch out. We criminals live among you and are hardly any different from decent people.
 
Surprising medical facts:
1) No person can fully open their mouth and extend their tongue further than their lips.
2) 90% of you have just tried it.
3) 100% realised it wasn't true.
5) A small majority (51%) laughed.
6) Most of these people didn't notice that we missed number 4.
6) Most just looked and believed.
7) Most didn't see that we also missed number 2.
8) You got caught again.
9) Did you catch us repeating 6?
10) You didn't want to check, did you?

 
moskitman:
Pure criminality.

Having turned on a computer with an unlicensed Windows, I downloaded a game from a torrent and cynically escalated my copyright infringement by watching a screen copy of a new film and downloading a new music album by a little-known artist...

Taking the dog out, I crossed the road in the wrong place. There were no cars or witnesses. I won't get caught.
Needless to say, the dog was walking without a muzzle...
Once you're on the slippery slope of crime, it's hard to stop...

Cynically smoking five, not fifteen meters from the bus stop...
Participated in an undeclared social event. We criminal elements gathered at the bus stop and discussed the quality of roads in our neighbourhood, then, without waiting for the riot police, left the scene in minibuses.

Having been paid in an envelope, I realised that I was contributing to a tax law violation, but criminal life is so appealing, so when I caught the private bomber, thereby pushing him to violate the law on private transport...
There was nothing left to lose - so I didn't buckle up.

Remembering the law that prohibits drinking alcoholic beverages in public places, I still drank a bottle of beer in the square, taking advantage of the absence of witnesses and police.
And at home I found a way to get on a website blocked by Rospotrebnadzor...

Watch out. We criminals live among you and are hardly any different from decent people.
But at least you got a positive reaction from Wasserman?
1...376377378379380381382383384385386387388
New comment