Humour - page 240

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A man saw a sign on the door of a nunnery: "Sex with young nuns - 500 c.u.". He knocked, a pretty nun opened the door, took the money and said: "I'll get ready and you can go down the corridor to the last door on the right. The man quickly rushed to the said door, opened it, went back to the street, the door closed behind him. He turned around and saw a sign on the door: "Today you have been fucked by Sister Maria.
 
- Sorry, your password has been used for more than 30 days, you need to choose a new one!
- Roses.
- Sorry, your new password has too few characters!
- Pink Roses.
- Sorry, password must contain at least one digit!
- 1 pink rose.
- Sorry, no spaces allowed in your password!
- 1 pink rose.
- Sorry, you have to use at least 10 different characters in your password!
- 1 fucking rose.
- Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter in the password!
- 1GREBANE pink rose.
- Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row!
- 1GREBANE pink rose.
- Sorry, password needs to be more than 20 characters long!
- 1FuckingRose Rose is gonna be puking out of your arse if you don't give me access right fucking now!
- I'm sorry, but that password is already taken!
 

heartfelt cry


 
To the madness of the brave...
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alexjou:

heartfelt cry


I confirm that when I was working at the factory, I knew the head of the repair brigade, Dima Demidovich. He had one locksmith who was principled and carried out everything according to the instructions. One day, transport and crane were served to load submersible pumps for sending for repair. This worker demanded from the crane operator a certificate for checking the rope for lifting capacity. Naturally, the crane operator had no such document. The loading was disrupted. I was sitting in the shop manager's office, the director suddenly comes running to the secretary and says, "Get that asshole" and enters the office of the shop manager. The secretary looked at me perplexed. I answered her - get Dima Demidovich. From the shouting in the office it was obvious that I had told the secretary correctly, although there were many problems where many people were to blame, but only one turned out to be an asshole.
 
alexjou:

heartfelt cry



You could be married by the time you were 37.
 

on the subject of proliferating messages about the tester ....

 
 

Contrary to expectations, the son of a plumber finished school with a medal, graduated with honours from university, and went to postgraduate study in England. He was already drunk at Oxford.

***

I'm not surprised about anything else in this country after the local bangers saved me from a drunken copper.

***

A man has jumped out of a parachute and is descending towards the ground...
An eagle flies past:
- Hello dancers!
Skydiver:
- I'm not a dancer, I'm a skydiver!
Eagle:
- Listen, man - there's SUCH CACTUSES down there!!! The ability will come instantly...

***

Collect all the dirty socks in the house, wash them, dry them. Put them together with the rest of the clean socks. Mix thoroughly. Spread out on the floor. Put any torn socks in the bin. Then put any socks that are not a pair in the bin. If there are no socks left on the floor, the puzzle is solved!

 

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