[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 614
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It's not the depth of the water.
The depth of what?
And the depth of what?
USA September 11, 2001. Japan on 10 March 2011. Put these dates together. 10.03.11+11.09.01=21.12.12...!
... Paranoia
Centre, what else :)))
what does march 10 and japan have to do with it? what was march 10 in japan?
Ball picker. Makes sure no golf balls are left on the grounds surrounding the course after play.
Cow pedicurist. Poor hoof condition can affect a cow's health, milk yield and even its ability to reproduce. On elite farms in Europe and America entire separate units of employees keep an eye on this.
Furniture tester. These professionals are hired by major design companies and furniture factories. Of course, no one tests tables and bookshelves, but chairs, armchairs and beds do.
Penguin flip-flops. Penguins living near polar stations react vividly to passing helicopters. The animals arch their heads and lean back, but as their necks are short and their bodies are clumsy, they often roll over onto their backs. The penguins are unable to roll over and stand up on their own, so after each arrival or departure a specialist comes to their aid. Otherwise, the animals will die.
Ant breeder. The ant breeder traps and selects the best specimens for special ant farms. Most often the insects are bred to extract the poison (used in medicine), or for further use as food.
Armpit sniffer. Employed by companies that produce deodorants and antiperspirants. Their job is to apply an experimental product to a test group's armpits, and then sniff them, noting how their smell changes over the course of the day.
Brainwashing. This extravagant profession is by no means related to psychiatry. A brain extractor works in an abattoir and makes sure the brain of a slaughtered animal is gently removed from its skull and transported to restaurants with minimal damage.
The wrinkle smasher. Is an employee of high-end shoe shops. Its job is to smooth out the wrinkles and creases that form on shoes as a result of repeatedly trying them on by customers.
Egg separator. Separates egg yolks from whites in a factory-made confectionery process using a special appliance.
A stripper researcher. Recruitment for such an unusual position was announced last year by an American research institute. The employee had to observe striptease dancers for 60 days and make certain regular records; the salary was 10 thousand dollars.
Stick polisher. Another specialist required by every self-respecting golf club. He rubs clubs with a special compound which improves grip of a club.
Cushion straightener. A cushion straightener is required for expensive furniture shops selling bedroom sets. He has to walk around the sales area during the working day and have to straighten wrinkles and creases on pillows and coverlets.
Condom tester. It's no surprise that condom companies want to make sure condoms are reliable. After all, contraception can fundamentally change a person's life. Therefore, a new product is usually tested by a group of about 1000 hired "workers", and the tests last for at least a year.
An expert on dice. Such professionals have to be kept by the authorities in Las Vegas and Monte Carlo. If the casino's dice are found to be misbalanced, or 'tapered', it would be treated as an attempt to swindle hapless customers. Meanwhile, people leave millions of dollars behind playing roulette.
Egg sniffer. A rare profession in demand in high-end pastry shops and restaurants. This person makes sure no tainted eggs get into the food.
Chick sex determination manager. The sex of a chick must be determined accurately as early as the first day after it is born. It is believed that this influences the nutrition and care of the bird.
Hired relatives. An official service for hired friends and relatives was established last year in China. Mostly people go there before weddings, birthdays or other celebrations, at which many, many people "have to be" - to maintain status. However, unofficially similar services are provided all over the world and have been for a long time.
Toilet guide. A civil servant in Japan, helps anyone who wants to find the nearest toilet in the city. The guide's service costs about 4 cents.
The queue attendant. Again, without registration or licence, queue-keeper services have long existed in any country. But Britain has the first registered company of its kind. The firm's staff are prepared to stand in any line for you to the bitter end, pushing and cursing - generally doing everything possible to attain the desired result. The pay for such dedication is $40 an hour.
Tampon tester. These essential employees of the personal care factories test every tampon for sufficient absorption and lacing strength. These are the requirements of the Food and Drug Administration in the USA.
a profession just for china :) they have a real strain of relatives there. i can imagine how many people they have for a "normal" wedding :)