[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 526

 
Mounting
 
Farnsworth:

It was one of my favourite short stories based on...

Where did you get it? Are there more out there?
 
MetaDriver:
Where did you get it? Are there more out there?
http://google.com< -- first line of the story
 
MetaDriver:
Where did you get it? Are there more out there?
Unfortunately, "there" isn't any more. I've been collecting stories like that for a long time and my computer crashed at one point :o(
 

For educational purposes, after you have scolded someone, you must praise them. For example:
- "You've got sloppy hands. But your brains are smooth.

***

- Honey, why don't we have some tea?
- Honey, you made five mistakes in the word "beer."

***

An old lady at the supermarket puts three cans of cat food in front of the cash register.
Cashier: - We don't give out that much cat food without proof that the customer has a cat...
. . The old lady grumbled, went home, brought the cat and took the purchase back.
The next day, the old lady came to the cash register with 3 large bags of dog food.
Same story. The poor old lady had to go home again and return to the supermarket with the dog.
On the third day, the old lady entered the supermarket and went straight to the cash register,
holding a cardboard box with a hole in the top.
- Put your hand in there, please. - the old lady asked the cashier.
... After a few seconds of hesitation, the cashier stuck her hand into the box:
- I have a suspicion that there's shit in the box!!!
- You're absolutely right, my dear. I came in for three rolls of toilet paper...

***

Wife says to her husband at breakfast:
- "Honey, you and I were wrong to be adamantly against our daughter getting a piercing. Since she's got her nose ring, it's so much easier and more comfortable for me to take her to school!

***

- What size dick do you have?
- What size is it?
- Is it adjustable?!



 
drknn:

***

- Honey, why don't we get some tea?
- Honey, you There's four mistakes in the word "beer." made four mistakes.

***

 
PapaYozh:

Corrected. I didn't even pay attention to them - I just copied them and that's it :)
 
 
Farnsworth:
Unfortunately, "there" is no longer there. I've been collecting stories like this for a long time and then my computer crashed at one point :o(

enjoy

http://zhurnal.lib.ru/p/progin_w_i/matan.shtml

http://zhurnal.lib.ru/p/progin_w_i/x01.shtml