[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 787
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A patient enters the doctor's office.
He stumbles on the threshold and falls down.
He breaks his arm, leg and head, but crawls to the table.
He crawls over, puts his head on the table and says:
- Doctor, I just want to ask...
****
Valentine's Day. Pharmacy. A guy walks in and, addressing the clerk (cheerfully so):
- Hello...
- We're out!!!
****
Rabinovich catches a Golden Fish. The fish, as usual, offers three wishes. Rabinovitch thought about it, scratched his bald head:
- I want a house on the Mediterranean coast, three million dollars in a bank account and an aunt with a huge bust. That's a one!
****
I'll tell you what... Before you blow out the candles, you should chew the olive...
****
Walking through the woods... Rain, wind, night... Freezing cold... I see a car standing there, I go over and look out the window - no one's there. I tried the door - it was open, so I got in and sat down... suddenly the car started! I'm shocked... the car's going, I'm sitting in the back, nobody's behind the wheel... then a hairy hand appears from somewhere, steered and disappeared... my hair on my ass started to move... then the village appeared, here are the first houses... then the car stops, another man looks in and says:
- What are you doing here?
- I'm driving...
- Fucking hell!!! I'm pushing and he's fucking driving!
****
The Presidents of Russia and Armenia are meeting.
- How many Armenians live in your country? - asks the Russian president.
- A million and a half," answers the Armenian.
- And I have three million of them. So which of us is the president of Armenia?
****
Men like mostly women's bodies,
and women like men's brains.
So they fuck whoever they like.
****
I don't know whether it's humour or not. More like another bureaucratic idiocy!
I got an email fromRostelecom about the charges for my home phone (it's been in my flat since 1977).
======================
Dear customer!
The Samara branch of Rostelecom, OJSC informs that starting from 01.03.2012 you will receive a receipt for payment for communication services on a monthly basis to the contact e-mail address you indicated.
You can get a copy of your receipt by following this link: ------ ---- ---.
You will need to print out the receipt to effect your payment.
... ... This message is automatically generated. Please do not reply to it.
============================
That's it! It's like, "Come on, man - you're going to print it out yourself, you bastard!" It's a good thing I happened to look at my old email account - where I look once a month! .
The joke from Rostelecom is really idiotic, especially in relation to pensioners.
It is true that in some cities it is now possible to pay for a flat phone without receipts via terminals.
Humour music sports excitement
Governance as a division
at
THE CONSEQUENTIAL(CONVENTIONAL) PROCESS
and PREVOLUTION.
Apple unveiled a new iPad tablet computer at an event in San Francisco. It has a quad-core A5X processor and, as expected, an ultra-high resolution screen.
The new iPad 3 - official unveiling
>------------------
1. beautiful
2. intelligent
3. caring
4. attractive
5. sexy
6. kind
7. tender
8. sweet
9. charming
10. charming
11. unique
12. indescribable
13. unforgettable
14. irresistible
15. chic
16. dazzling
17. passionate
18. unreachable
19. divine
20. mesmerizing
21. angelic
22. radiant
23. sexy
24. bright
25. fluffy
26. gorgeous
27. stunning
28. slender
29. seductive
30. flirty
31. exquisite
32. graceful
33. cheerful
34. energetic
35. creative
36. stylish
37. sociable
38. tactful
39. loveable
40. romantic
41. versatile
42. fabulous
43. pretty
44. spunky
45. only
46. tender
47. sweet
48. breathtaking
49. desirable
50. unpredictable
51. mysterious
52. flowery
53. perfect
54. harmonious
55. responsive
56. perfect
57. the best
58. modest
59. exquisite
60. naughty
61. cool
62. sincere
63. friendly
64. understanding
65. extravagant
66. dreamy
67. fragrant
68. effervescent
69. ambitious
70. alluring
71. enthusiastic
72. selfless
73. direct
74. seductive
75. intoxicating
76. cheerful
77. lovely
78. smiley
79. shy
80. incendiary
81. honest
82. exhilarating
83. pure-hearted
84. playful
85. charming
86. gorgeous
87. determined
88. divine
89. feminine
90. blissful
91. peerless
92. radiant
93. beautiful
94. essential
95. marvelous
96. fabulous
97. touching
98. miniature
99. beloved
100. dearest
The presentation was held under the new logo
If you do, you can't forgive me.
at least FOR HEAVEN
it turns out that the coordinate system
of three axes minimum, and
TWO coordinates for PROCESS.