[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 35

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LeoV >>:
"Изо льдов Антарктиды достали пять ящиков виски, пролежавшие там более века" - ......ээххх..... попробывать бы.....))))

Well, it's not cognac that's only better the longer...

 

Scientists say aliens won't be able to see Earth

26.01.2010 |Source:

Pravda.ru

The digital switchover has made our planet less and less visible to other civilizations.

Dr Frank Drake, one of the founders of the movement in search of extraterrestrial intelligence, has made such a statement. The scientist explained that digital technology produces less radio emission than analogue, and, therefore, to "detect" the Earth now is much more difficult than before.

"If this continues, very soon our world will be undetectable," predicts Drake, recalling that a few decades ago radio emission from Earth was recorded as far as 50 light years away.

Note, there is a hypothesis in scientific circles that if sufficiently evolved extraterrestrial life exists, its representatives, like Earthlings, are searching for life on other planets.
 
I am not Beethoven and I am not Rembrant
I have a different kind of talent--
Banish with a smile, banish in tears,
♪ Banish in a suit, banish in your pants ♪
♪ Banish for a cause, banish for a reason ♪
♪ Banish like a smartass and a fool ♪
♪ Banish in a dream, banish in a hangover ♪
♪ Banish in harshness and banish in amusement ♪
♪ Banish with your little finger, banish with your foot ♪
♪ And with his right hand and his left hand ♪
♪ And in the night, and in the morning ♪
♪ Banish with the shouts of "Sax" and "Hooray" ♪
♪ Banish teenagers, banish grandparents ♪
♪ Banish your friends and banish your enemies ♪
♪ Banish without asking, banish without giving ♪
♪ Banish freebies, banish without change ♪
♪ Banish boys, banish girls ♪
♪ Banish like a knight and bastard ♪
Banned for a month, banned for a day,
♪ Banish willingly or unwillingly ♪
♪ Banish seriously, banish lightly ♪
♪ Banish both the smart and the dumb ♪
♪ Banish with a fuss, banish in silence ♪
♪ Banish with potatoes, banish with onions ♪
♪ Banish with mockery and with regret ♪
♪ Banish quickly, banish gladly ♪
♪ Banish the ridiculous, banish the logical ♪
♪ Banish the shameless, banish the decent ♪
♪ Banish the merry and banish the serious ♪
Banish the cold, banish the flu,
♪ though I'm no Beethoven or Van Gogh ♪
♪ I'm not Beethoven or Van Gogh ♪
 


Fake gold bars at the Bank of England and Fort Knox?


It's one thing to counterfeit a twenty or a hundred dollar bill. The level of financial sabotage is usually limited to a certain area and only affects a dozen people and thousands of dollars. Secret Service agents quickly notify banks on how to recognize these counterfeit banknotes and remove them from circulation. There are usually recognition procedures (such as special pens to check the paper) to stop their rapid spread. But what about gold? It is the most sacred of all commodities because it is thought to be the most trusted and reliable and valuable means of saving wealth.

The recent opening in October 2009 was suppressed by the mainstream media, but has been circulating among "big money" brokers and central financial figures and is now being released to the public. It's about the gold at Fort Knox - US Treasury gold - the equivalent of our national wealth. In short, millions (look at the "m") of gold bars are fake! Who did it? Obviously our own government.
Source evidence
In October 2009, the Chinese received gold bars for shipment. Gold is regularly exchanged between countries to pay off debts and regulate the so-called active balance. The majority of gold is exchanged and stored in vaults under the supervision of a special London-based organization, the London Gold Bullion Market Association (or LBMA). When the shipment was received, the Chinese government requested that special tests be carried out to ensure the purity and weight of the gold bars. For this testing, four small holes are drilled into gold bars and the metal is then analyzed. Officials were shocked to learn that the gold bars were fake. They contained tungsten with only real gold on the outside. What's more, these gold bars had U.S. registration numbers and were stored at Fort Knox for many years. This Chinese shipment reportedly contained 5,600 to 5,700 bars weighing 400 ounces (1 ounce of gold equals 31.1034768 grams) each. Initially, many gold experts assumed that counterfeit gold was produced in China by the best counterfeit manufacturers in the world. The Chinese quickly investigated and made a statement that got the US involved in the scheme.
What did the Chinese reveal?
Approximately 15 years ago in the US during the Clinton administration [think it was Robert Rubin, Sir Alan Greenspan and Lawrence Summers] an estimated 1.3-1.5 million 400-ounce tungsten ingots were produced in a very sophisticated way [more than 16 thousand metric tons]. Subsequently, 640,000 of these tungsten ingots were gilded and shipped to Fort Knox, where they remain to this day. According to the Chinese investigation, some of these 1.3-1.5 million 400-ounce tungsten fakes were also plated with gold and then allegedly "sold" to the world market. Apparently, the global market is literally “full of 400 ounce salt bars.” Perhaps in the amount of 600 billion dollars.
An obscure press release originally published in the New York Post [written by Jennifer Anderson] in late January 2004 may now make sense.
NYMEX Executive Investigation, Manhattan, New York February 2nd, 2004.
The chief executive of the New York Mercantile Exchange is being investigated by the Manhattan District Attorney. Those close to the Exchange said Stuart Smith, senior vice president of exchange operations, was detained last week for a search warrant issued by the District Attorney's office. Details of the investigation were not released, but a NYMEX spokeswoman said it was not related to any of the exchange markets. She declined to comment further than to say no charges were filed. A spokeswoman for the Manhattan District Attorney's office also dismissed the comment.
The Offices of the Senior Vice President of Operations - NYMEX - is exactly where you would go to find the records [registration number and smelter origin] for EVERY GOLD BAR ever PHYSICALLY put up for exchange. They are required to maintain these accounts. These accurate records would show the origin of all the physical gold offered for exchange, and therefore "prove" that the amount of gold in question may not have come from American mining, because the amount in question coming from American smelters would certainly be much larger. than from domestic gold mines.
Nobody knows what happened to Stuart Smith. After his offices were raided, he took "administrative leave" from the NYMEX and has never been heard from since. It's amazing that there was never a close in the media about the original story as well as ZERO of events ever happening in the DA office of Morgento who was executing the search warrant. We must believe that the NYMEX offices were raided and Sir V.P. operations takes a vacation - all for nothing?

The discoveries of counterfeit gold bars also explain another very unusual story that also happened in 2004:
LONDON, April 14, 2004 (Reuters) - NM Rothschild & Sons Ltd., the London-based branch of investment bank Rothschild [ROT.UL], is being withdrawn from trading activities in London, including gold, to review its operations. I wonder how Bill Murphy of GATA reflected on 2004: “Why did Rothschild leave the gold business at this time, my colleagues, I guess now? Just a guess on my part, but [I] suspect something is wrong. They know a big scandal is coming and they don't want to be a part of it... Rothschild wants out before the famous "S" hits the fan." Bill Murphy. LEMETROPOLE, 18th April 2004.
What is GATA?
The Gold Antitrust Authority (GATA) is an organization that has been on the heels of the US Treasury Federal Reserve over the past few years. The basis of the GATA charges is that these institutions, in coordination with other involved central and large gold-swapping investment banks in the US, have been controlling the price of gold for decades.
What is GLD?
GLD is a short form for "good delivery" to London. The London Gold Bar Market Association (LBMA) has defined a "good delivery" as a delivery from an entity that is listed on their delivery list or accepts the standards for said list and whose bars have gone through testing requirements set by the associatin and are updated from time to time. Bars must be clean for AU in the range of 995.0 to 999.9 per 1000. Weight, shape, appearance, marks and weight stamps are adjusted as follows: weight, minimum 350 fine ounces AU; maximum, 430 fine AU ounces, rough bar weight expressed in ounces, multiples of 0.025, rounded down to nearest 0.025 troy ounce. Measurements, recommended measurements for a "good delivery" gold bar: main surface, 255 x 81 mm; bottom surface, 236 x 57 mm; thickness, 37 mm; purity, minimum 995.0 parts per thousand of pure gold. Stamps: registration number; cleaning test seal; purity (in four significant figures); year of manufacture (in four digits).

After reviewing their prospectus over and over again, it becomes pretty clear that GLD was set up to purposefully divert investment dollars away from legitimate gold backing and create a scam, a cesspool/receptacle, a bribe fund, and likely the ultimate destination for many of these counterfeit tungsten ingots from where they will never come out - hidden behind the following legal jargon "shield" from the law:
[Excerpt from GLD prospectus on page 11] . “Gold bars allocated to the Trust in connection with the creation of the Busket may not meet the London Good Delivery Standards and if the Basket is set against such gold the Trust may suffer a loss. Neither the Trustee nor the Custodian independently confirm the purity of the gold bars allocated to the Trust in connection with the creation of the Busket. Gold bars allocated to the Trust by the Custodian may differ in the reported purity or weight required by the LBMA standards for gold bars delivered in a gold trade settlement, or the London Good Delivery Standards, standards required by the Trust. If the Trustee however issues a Busket against such gold and if the Custodian fails to meet its obligation to lend to the Trust in accordance with the minimum standards, the Trust may suffer a loss."
The Federal Reserve knows everything, but is obviously part of the Earlier scheme; this year GATA filed a second Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requesting the Federal Reserve for documents from 1990 to date relating to gold exchanges, gold exchanged or offered for gold exchange. The Federal Reserve responded to this FOIA request on August 5, 2009, adding two more documents to those disclosed by GATA in April 2008 on the previously requested FOIA. These documents totaled 173 pages, many parts of which were edited (blacked out). The Federal Reserve's response also noted that there were 137 pages of undisclosed documents that were said to be exempt from disclosure. GATA appealed this decision on August 20, 2009. The appeal asked for more additional information proving the legitimacy of the required disclosure exemptions and explaining why certain documents, such as one posted on the Federal Reserve's website, discuss gold exchanges that were not included in the Aug. 5 release of the document.
In a letter on Federal Reserve letterhead dated September 17, 2009, Federal Reserve Governor Kevin M. Worsh denied in full the GATA's appeal. The entire text of this letter can be checked at www.gata.org. The first paragraph on page three is the most revealing. “In connection with your appeal, I have confirmed that the information denied under clause 4 consists of confidential commercial or financial information relating to the operations of the Federal Reserve Banks that was obtained under clause 4. This includes information pertaining to exchange arrangements with foreign banks on behalf of the Federal Reserve and is not the type of information that is normally disclosed to the public. This information is duly denied to you."
The above allegations are an admission that the Federal Reserve has been involved in the counterfeit gold bar exchange and refuses to disclose any information about its activities!
Why was tungsten used?
If you are going to print counterfeit money, you must have special paper, otherwise the bills do not look real and can be easily detected by special pens that most merchants and banks use. Likewise, if you are going to counterfeit gold bars, you need to make sure they have the same weight and properties of real gold.
In early 2008, millions of dollars in gold in the Central Bank of Ethiopia turned out to be fake. What were supposed to be solid gold bars turned out to be nothing more than gold-plated steel. They tried to sell the material to South Africa and it was sent back when the South Africans noticed this little problem. The problem with making good quality counterfeit gold is that the gold has a significant density. This is almost twice the density of lead and two and a half times denser than steel. You don't usually notice this because the little gold rings etc. don't weigh enough to make it obvious, but if you've ever held a larger bar of gold, it's absolutely unmistakable: the stuff is very, very heavy.
A standard bank-to-bank gold bar known as the "Good Delivery London Bar" weighs 400 ounces (over thirty-three pounds, over 15 kg), yet no more than a paperback novel. An ingot of steel the same size would only weigh thirteen and a half pounds.
According to gold expert Theo Gray, the problem is that there are very few metals that are as dense as gold, with only two exceptions: they are all worth as much or more than gold. The first exception is depleted uranium, which is cheap if you're the government, but hard for people to get. It's also radioactive, which can be a bit of a problem. The second exception is the real winner: tungsten. Tungsten is significantly cheaper than gold (maybe $30 dollars a pound compared to $12,000 a pound for gold). And, wonderfully, it has exactly the same density as gold, up to the third decimal place. The main differences are that it has the wrong color and that it is much harder than gold. (Very pure gold is quite soft, you can dent it in with your fingernail.)
A top-notch counterfeit gold bar must perfectly match the color, surface hardness, density, chemical, and physical properties of the gold. To do this, you must start with a tungsten ingot 1/8-inch (1 inch = 2.54 cm) smaller in each dimension than the gold bar you want, then pour a 1/16-inch layer of real solid gold around it. This bar will look good in the hand if it has a "dead" ring from impact, as gold has to have it to be chemically correct, it will weigh *accurately* and correctly, and although I don't know this for sure, I think that a 1/16" layer of pure gold plating would be enough to stop the x-rays from reaching the tungsten. You have to drill deep into the bar to find out it's fake. Producing such a fake top quality "good delivery" London bar would cost around $50,000, because there is a lot of real gold in it, but you would still make a good profit assuming the real one is worth closer to $400,000.
What will happen now?
Politicians like Ron Paul are demanding that the Federal Reserve be more transparent and make its records available to the public. But the FED stubbornly refused, stating that these disclosures would undermine its operations. Yes, it certainly would be a sensation!


Source: www.daily.pk
Pakistan Daily, January 11th, 2010
Translation from English: Tamara Baltova
Original article


 


South African President Jacob Zuma has expressed "deep regret" at becoming the father of an illegitimate child.

Zuma formally apologised to his family, the African National Congress party, of which he is the leader, and the nation.

The circumstances of the 67-year-old president's personal life have become a cause for scandal in recent times. The mother of the child, Sonono Khoza, 39, is the daughter of one of the organisers of the World Cup to be held in South Africa in the summer.

Jacob Zuma has three official spouses, another wife he divorced and another ex-wife died. The president has 19 children.


 
Helen >>:
Общение со службой технической поддержки. Идеальное терпение... http://rutube.ru/tracks/738623.html?confirm=3034c04be160a71d9ae220b01da85774&v=aa0849f21714356e641f90dcc7cbde26


who has more patience, the helpdesk or this instructor :-))




 
Helen >>:
Общение со службой технической поддержки. Идеальное терпение... http://rutube.ru/tracks/738623.html?confirm=3034c04be160a71d9ae220b01da85774&v=aa0849f21714356e641f90dcc7cbde26


I think the tech support guy is just as dumb as the customer :) He never understood what the client was asking about and what he was explaining. Neither the first or the second operator had any desire to communicate with the client. What has patience got to do with it?

I hope the head of hl service in the stream was fired after this recording was made public :)

It's been a while since I first heard that recording.

 
gip писал(а) >>

I think the tech support guy is just as dumb as the customer :) He never understood what the client was asking about and what he was explaining. Neither the first or the second operator had any desire to communicate with the client. What has patience got to do with it?

I hope the head of hl service in the stream was fired after this recording was made public :)

It's been a while since I first heard this recording.

However, it was difficult to answer the question, "Why didn't I have a rip?!!!", much less a mentally unstable person. Perhaps matching my hair colour, I didn't understand what the client wanted. Can you please clarify what he wanted?

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