Interesting and Humour - page 1387

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Mischek:

A real challenge.

A bear fell into a trap hole 19.617 metres deep. Its time of fall was 2 seconds. What colour was the bear?

А. White (polar bear)
B. Brown
C. Black
D. Black and brown (Malay bear)
E. Grey (grizzly bear)

Even though the correct answer is not indisputable, it's still a good one )

:)


 
 
Few people know that "Ow!" in bearish means "Lunch".
 

Pour me a whisky!
It's eight in the morning, isn't it?!
OK, throw some cereal in there!

Husband and wife make a new password for the computer. Husband types in, "My dick. The wife falls to the floor laughing because the computer says, "Error! Too short!'

A group of Russian tourists lost in the jungle were found by swearing parrots.



A call to tech support:

My Google won't open...
Is the modem light on?
Yes. Only it's not a light bulb, it's a thyristor LED.
Um... Yeah, I guess the problem is on our side...

The ever-young Odessa language:

  • Don't do my pregnant head in!
  • I know myself, and you think for yourselves what you want.
  • Don't get on my nerves, there's someone to get on my nerves.
  • I'm ashamed to walk with you in Odessa!
  • I have something to say.
  • I'm ready to listen for your request.
  • Are you in a hurry before I am?!
  • I can't hear him because I can't see him.
  • Became arrogant, like a traffic cop from a prestigious intersection.
  • I respect you, though I've forgotten why!
  • Look at this patriot at my expense!
  • Did you guys have a fight with your brains?
  • I'm a creative person - I want to create, I want to create.
  • Fima, don't get on my nerves!
  • An announcement at Privoz: "Fresh meat from Kiev has arrived."
  • A neighbour to her neighbour about her cleavage: "Madam, your heart's in the yard!"
 
What do programmers know that non-programmers don't?

* Open sors does not mean that anyone can edit the code in question
* There are dozens of programming languages in active use. There are hundreds of programming languages nobody uses
* Creating any website or application is work
* What programmers learn in university rarely overlaps with their workflow after graduation
* Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I know why you can't run Word
* Programming is not about pounding the keys, it's about making the logical chains. You can do it going to bed, walking in the park, looking out the window, whatever.
* not all programmers wear glasses and jumpers with reindeer, Star Wars fanatics *
* I have no idea how to hack the Pentagon! *
* You can count to a thousand on four fingers *
* a = a + 1 is okay *
* building a website and building an app are two different things *
* Some cool software for a lot of money is not gonna solve the organizational problems in your company.
* Programming is not maths
* Under the bonnet of your everyday programs, operating systems and websites is the silent horror as if you took apart a brand new Boeing and saw that the fuel tank is propped up by coat hangers and the landing gear is taped together with duct tape
 
Two old friends meet: - What do you do? - I'm a calligrapher. - Come on! At school, no teacher could make out your scribbles. - Exactly! I do captchas for websites.
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