Traders joking, the beginning - page 549

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"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'"

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We hang petty thieves and appoint the great one to public office.

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A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

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A newly released email reveals that Hillary Clinton said to a co-worker, "I heard on the radio there's a cabinet meeting. Can I go?" In another email she said she found out about the debt ceiling from Smooth Jazz 94.7.

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.