Traders joking, the beginning - page 366

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* You sell 1 and buy a bull.

* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

* You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more. Sell 1 cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

BRITISH CAPITALISM

* You have 2 cows.

* Both are mad.

 

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George Clooney is engaged to be married. How about that. Good for George. Another success story for eHarmony.com.
 

SPREAD:

The only reliable way to make money on the FX market, which is why your broker charges you one.

 
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently back smoking the crack. There is a picture of him smoking the crack and a videotape is out as well. Is there a videotape out there of him not smoking crack?
 

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This year the Colorado symphony will host a bring-your-own-marijuana concert series, called “Classically Cannabis.” Or if you don’t like classical music, you can attend the bring-your-own-marijuana concert called “any other concert.”
 
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s lawyers said that he will take a leave of absence to seek help for substance abuse. Though they didn’t say whether the substance in question was crack or gravy.
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