Traders joking, the beginning - page 531

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Bernie Sanders made around $2,000 last year for two speeches and a TV appearance, compared to the $25 million the Clintons made. Making him the first person in history to run for president just because he really needs the money.

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To join al-Qaida, you must be willing to die in the name of Allah and be proficient at Microsoft XL.

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I was surprised to hear this. Hillary Clinton’s Super PAC has reportedly been struggling to raise money. It’s gotten so bad, they may have to start reaching out to Americans.

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Three men gathered together for a round of golf on Mother’s Day. The men were quite surprised at being “let go” for the day, and each wanted to know how the other got away from their wife.

The first man said, “I purchased a dozen red roses for my wife, and she was so happy that she let me go.”

The second man said, “I purchased a diamond ring for my wife, and she was so thrilled with me that she let me go.”

The third man said, “I woke up this morning, rolled over, looked at my wife, and said to her: `Golf course or inter-course,’ and she said: I’ll put your clubs in the car.’"

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A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”