[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 641

 
 
Nibbler:

The bottom line is that whoever one works, everyone earns the same per unit of time as a result

Especially the automators and rationalisers. The simplest script can process
in 15 minutes the amount of data that you would have to process manually for a month.
 
drknn:


It's an old joke, but it still makes me smile :)

A rich tourist came to the town. After leaving a deposit of $100 to the innkeeper, he went up to see the hotel rooms. The innkeeper, without a moment's hesitation, takes the note and runs to the butcher with it to pay off the debt. The butcher, with the note in hand, runs to the farmer and gives him the beef debt. The farmer pays back the debt to the owner of the machine shop. The workshop owner goes to the local shop and pays the debt for
groceries. The shopkeeper runs to the local escort girl, who has been "servicing" him in debt due to the crisis... The girl immediately runs to the innkeeper and gives him the debt for the rooms she rented for the customers. At this point, a tourist comes back down and says he has not found a suitable room, takes the deposit and leaves.
Nobody got anything, but the whole town is now living debt-free and optimistic about the future...

In my youth, in times of crisis and constant downtime at work, when we were forced out without pay for six months or more, I used to trade in computer components and various software products at the radio market. There were three guys standing there all the time, selling wine by the glass.

In the freezing cold of winter, when they weren't selling anything, this happened to them:

The First approaches the Second:
-What's a glass for?
-a hundredweight.
Gives him a hundred, drinks it.

Next...
The Second approaches the Third:
-What's a glass for?
-A hundred.
Gives him a hundred, drinks it.

Then it's clear:
The Third approaches the First:
-What's a glass for?
-a hundredweight.
Gives him a hundred, drinks it.

And that's the cycle throughout the trading day.
At the end, when everyone had finished their wine, they went home to their wives, happy and singing... :)

I do not know who has this hundred dollars, but I do not think it will help to make excuses to the wives about where the money and wine is... :)))))

 
 

On a flight of stairs, two neighbours are standing and smoking. One says to the other, seeing that the other looks very shabby:
- Listen, Sanek, what's the matter with you?
- You know, man... They attacked me, beat me up and took all my money...
- Do you even remember their faces?
- Why remember them: the wife and the mother-in-law?

From school essays.

Kirbalmandyndturbinkasy Barshidovich - this is how fondly the villagers of Beshmarkantygdanbai call their teacher. Let's wish them luck in this hard work!!!

***

On the river bank a milkmaid milked a cow and the opposite was reflected in the water.

 

Labrador is a glutton.

it's his fridge )) only his food ))

it is the kindest and most affectionate dog. It is impossible to make a guard, the only chance...will lick a thief to death ))))

 
Why do you torment the animal, you monster? ) With canned food and dry fodder. Feed it live, it'll be healthy and live a long time. You should feed it raw meat and fresh vegetables.
 
Trolls:

Labrador is a glutton.

it's his fridge )) only his food ))

it is the kindest and most affectionate dog. It is impossible to make a guard, the only chance...will lick a thief to death ))))

How this breed reacts to Chinese spice (below). Cocker Spaniels flatly refuse to eat food seasoned with such seasoning.
 

No comment )

 
Trolls:

is the kindest and most affectionate dog. It is impossible to make a guard, the only chance ... will lick a thief to death ))))

A friend of mine has a Labrador. He's such a cheerful little brat. He loves everybody and makes friends with everybody.

When they were on a rafting trip down the Mane, this little brat loved them all, loved them all, licked them all and befriended them all.

But when quite tipsy master fell asleep in the ten-man tent, this chum-squirt sat at the entrance to the tent and guarded the whole night master.

He wouldn't let anyone from the company near the tent - he attacked everyone.

Everyone slept outside. That's the kind of "lame" guard a Labrador makes...