[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 798

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Eight people disappeared in the taiga while testing a new model of GPS navigator
My wife yesterday: - No, I remember, I remember... I just forgot...
Men hug in two cases: either they're blue or they're blue.
Girl, let's sleep together a couple of times, and then, you know, we'll want to live our lives together! - Maybe we'll have to.....
During an argument in a sex shop, a customer cursed at the shop assistant and listed the shop's entire range of products.
Eighth-grader Liusya, who got a tattoo without asking, was given a belt just below her bowtie at home.
It's bad for your health when you come to a girl with one flower and leave with a whole bouquet.
Breathing heavily of the overbreath, a flock of fifth-graders walked past the head teacher.
The little girl swung so hard on the swing that she could see why her parents had sent her for a walk...
I'm not a chatterbox, I'm a sarafan radio server!
Father Fedor has been collecting donations for the chapel for three years, but so far only enough for an Audi.
If I had the money, I wouldn't have it long ago.
I don't know what's worse: a guy texting "we have to break up" or two minutes later texting "I'm not you."
When you buy a new bag, the salesgirl offers you a bag. It's like when you buy a new car and they offer you a tow truck.
Girl and guy make love. Boyfriend: - Why aren't you kissing me? - I'm waiting for my boyfriend back from the army.
- What are you doing? - Eating cheese with a pigtail, and you? - Drinking tea with my mouth.
Catchy girl. Just begs to be dumped.
 
Europa +!
 
Europa:
Father Fedor has been collecting donations for the chapel for three years, but so far only enough for an Audi.
/////и

Father Fyodor should take his example from Father Cyril! You might even be able to afford a two-storey flat...
 
denis_orlov:

A favourite school folklore in a modern format :)


Good evening, Lieutenant.))
 
 

(Without making the slightest mockery of Oleg Gazmanov's work, which I greatly respect)

begin

Господа программисты, отложивши свой листинг,
Матерясь на пречистом, я ТЗ достаю...
Те кто логику знает, хеш коды вычисляет,
Те поймут и признают, о чем я пою...

Кто учил мат.анализ, в монитор тыкал палец,
Кто фреймфорки не юзал, а писал библы сам,
Я пою программистам, юзверей пожалевших,
Возвратив им кеш-пямять, контроллер, и RAM.

припев:
Программисты, программисты, вам твердят пишите быстро,
Что вам стоит, все клиенты мыслят так...
Написать пять строчек кода, подключить простейший модуль,
И программа полетит на всех парах!

Господа программеры, как сберечь вашу веру?
На запиленых билдах, ваши мозги кипят.
Что ж вы братцы скомпилили, что там понаписали,
И теперь эти скрипты спасет disk format.

Вновь мы пишем проекты, создавая объекты,
Расширяемых классов, интерфейс подключив,
В рекурсивном режиме, проверяя константы,
Отдаем элементы в многомерный массив,

Так чего ж вы хотите, наши клиенты,
Если знать вы не знаете, что такое массив!

припев:
Программисты, программисты, вам твердят пишите быстро,
Что вам стоит, все клиенты мыслят так...
Написать пять строчек кода, подключить простейший модуль,
И программа полетит на всех парах!

end.

//© Денис Орлов
 

On a theme, an impromptu...

We walked to the rumble of the martingale,

We faced the trend!

We've been waiting for a pullback,

Avalanche fighters - courageous fighters!

 
FAQ:

On a theme, an impromptu...

We walked to the rumble of the martingale,

We faced the trend!

We've been waiting for a pullback,

The avalanche fighters - brave fighters!


missing the gloating laugh at the end.

BOOA-GA-GA

 
I apologise to all those offended...
 
FAQ:
I apologise to all those offended...
There, by the way, IMHO, the theme at the end will be not "Avalanche Workers", but "Illancers", because they are just waiting for a pullback to close a bunch of averaging (against the trend initially) orders ... :-)
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