[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 33
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- What do I do with this program?
- Install it and crack it.
- I installed it and cracked it, but it doesn't work.
- How did you crack it?
- Like a duck...
I saw a joke with sappers and a ball and remembered the real story.
We proved to our boss, who was not an electrician, that standing on a rubber mat you could touch a phase in a power cabinet with impunity. The clever electrician quietly de-energised the cabinet, we put the mat down, dragged the boss to the terminals and, just as he was touching the phase, the deputy suddenly banged a hammer on the metal workbench behind his back...
The effect is clear. We found the chief at the other end of the laboratory and then had to justify for a long time that this stupid joke had not been planned, and that the deputy had simply set us up.
Увидел хохму с саперами и шариком и вспомнил реальную историю.
Нашему завлабу, человеку далекому от электрики, мы доказывали, что стоя на резиновом коврике можно безнаказанно прикоснуться к фазе в силовом шкафу. Умный электрик шкаф предварительно втихаря обесточил, мы постелили коврик, подтащили шефа к клеммам и в тот момент, когда он прикоснулся к "фазе", за его спиной заместитель неожиданно грохнул молотком по металлическому верстаку...
Эффект понятен. Шефа мы обнаружили в другом конце лаборатории и потом долго оправдывались, что эта дурацкая шутка не планировалась, а хохмач заместитель просто нас подставил.
An airliner is flying. The captain speaks in a nonchalant voice:- Ladies and gentlemen! We are flying over the Atlantic Ocean at an altitude of 10,000 metres, with a speed of 900 km/hour and an outside temperature of... Fucking hell!!! Fucking hell.
There's silence in the cabin for a few minutes, the passengers are terrified.
Captain:
- Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, our stewardess spilled coffee on my trousers. You should have seen the front of them!
One of the passengers half-voiced:
- You should have seen mine in the back!
...We proved to our foreman, a man far from an electrician, that standing on a rubber mat you can touch a phase in a power cabinet with impunity.
My boss (a humanitarian) had once volunteered to switch on a power box in a cabinet that had no side handle. Before he did so, he saw that I was using pliers with plastic insulators on the handles to cut the circuit breaker from the inside of the cabinet. We hear a "BANG!!!1" - he's standing outside the cabinet in shock, the pliers' jaws are melted clean, but his glasses are covered in droplets of metal. It's a good thing he's a bespectacled man or they'd all get their arses ripped off...