Interesting and Humour - page 4517
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Happy new working week to you -
A man receives a phone call from a bank offering a loan. Man:
- I don't need anything! The bank employee:
- Well, such favourable terms... Man:
- I have a negative attitude towards this matter.
- Why, have you had a bad experience?
- Young man, how do you feel about having sex with a man?
- Well... Negative, actually.
- Why, have you had a bad experience?
***
- Daddy, why did you buy a dead donkey from your neighbour? Who needs it?
- We'll raffle it off as a live donkey and make 100 times the money.
- But the winner will see the donkey's dead and make a scene.
- And we'll give him his money back.
***
How the French rolled their balls
I'm from Saratov, but I'm studying in France. Once again, my friend and I are returning to Paris. A friend meets us at the airport. He is French and like any Frenchman loves to eat. He invited us for dinner in the evening and asked us to prepare some Russian dish for an aperitif. Without thinking twice, we decided to prepare an Olivier salad. My friend was surprised that the Russian salad had a French name. As we were renting a very small flat, we decided to cook at a friend's (his name is Cyril). We went to the nearest shop, bought groceries and went to his place. It was drizzling outside.
We got home, I immediately put the vegetables and eggs to boil. We opened a bottle of Bordeaux. And then I realise I didn't time the eggs. I get up, take a tablespoon, fetch one egg, put it on the table and twist sharply. The egg spins quickly, I realise it's "hard-boiled" and I can turn it off. I drain the hot water, fill it with cold water and sit back down at the table. A numbed Cyril looks at me, he's frozen with a glass of wine and is silent. I remain silent too and wait for his further reaction as I don't understand what's going on. We sit there like idiots. After about 10 seconds he says, "Why were you twisting my balls?" I said in all seriousness, "I forgot to time them and wanted to see if they were ready." He goes into complete shock, then drinks the glass in a gulp and apparently draws some conclusions, he says, "So you're saying that raw and hard-boiled eggs rotate at different speeds?" I say, "Well, yes!"
Then my friend starts laughing and I know what's going on too. Cyril sits there in shock... "It can't be!" he finally says. I decide to prove him wrong. I look for raw eggs in the fridge for an experiment, but there are none (In France, eggs are mostly sold in packs of 4). We decide to go to the shop and buy some more. It's no longer drizzling outside, it's pouring! Whatever! We took an umbrella (one for three) and went, on the way he met 2 classmates and told them the whole situation, they got interested (of course they didn't believe it!) and decided to come with us too. We bought some eggs and headed back home.
One of Cyril's friends calls his girlfriend and says she's already waiting for him with her brother and two friends and he says: "I'll be a bit late, we met Cyril and want to do an experiment". He tells them the situation. They were also interested and said they would be here in 10 minutes. We decided to wait for them outside.
It was pouring with rain, five people under an umbrella and eggs in their hands. A young couple walked by, they turned out to be Cyril's neighbours. And the French are nosy as hell!!! They also asked: "Why are you guys getting wet? "Did you forget your keys?" our French friends tell the story about the eggs and the experiment that's about to take place. Cyril invites them too!
Finally, the guys we've been waiting for arrived and we're off in a CROWD to "twist the eggs"!!! I put two eggs on the table, one - boiled, the other - raw. And I'm so proud to say, "Look!" And I twist the eggs. Naturally, the eggs were spinning at different speeds, and the raw egg was spinning a lot slower. So they told me I was cheating, that I was twisting at different speeds on purpose!!! None of the Frenchmen believed that they had different speeds. They said that eggs of the same weight and shape should spin the same way (they are not good at physics at all). I said, "Let's try it yourself now!" And then it started!!!! They started to come up and twist the eggs.
Imagine the scene: Paris, kitchen, queue of French people to the table where they're twisting eggs! When another Frenchman was handling the eggs and realised they were indeed turning at different speeds, he stepped aside, poured a glass of wine and looked at the others in silence. And there was such a thoughtfulness in his eyes, as if the meaning of life had changed.
At the end of the "egg roll" one guy said to me: "Russians are geniuses!" to which I replied: "We're surprised with our own lives" and, inspired by that phrase, I decided to show a video about Russia, where a truck with cows overturns and a woman rips off the bumper of a car.
The Frenchman was silent for a long time and then said: "Just extraordinary people live in Russia.
And you know what? I sincerely pity America; it expects one thing from you, and you give it quite another in return. I would very much like France and Russia to live in friendship, because France cannot quarrel with you. We fought once and we don't want to fight again. Your logic is impossible to calculate.
My ego was very touched by these words and happily we went to finish our Bordeaux=)))".
Yandex is on fire :)
please be humorous, from public sources:
please be humorous, from public sources:
Yandex grinds money and the rest of it bullshits him.
Yandex is all about money and all the rest is bullshit.
Yandex is a word invented by Ilya Segalovich and Arkady Volozh. Ilya sat down and wrote outwords on a piece of paper that would describe the essence of the program. The search went on around the words search and index. This is how Yandex, short for "yet another indexer", came into being.