Interesting and Humour - page 3178
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And by the way the smell depends on the degree of refinement (maybe the composition is different) - aviation paraffin smells much better than usual technical paraffin.
A true story from life. There was a master mechanic working for us who liked to drink. Got into the hospital, wanted a drink.
He makes a request through his wife.
- Tell the guys at the factory to send some paraffin.
So they sent him to the hospital with paraffin. His wife comes again.
- Husband asked for refined paraffin. He said refined paraffin.
All right, they think hospital. Need refined. The chief's help. They lost their way, but they found it and handed it over.
Soon this master comes running to the plant and screams.
- Do I give you paraffin to drink? I asked for alcohol!
But for some reason the crucian carp love the smell of it...
Carp like anything that smells pungent.
R - In your resume you wrote that you know the following programming languages and technologies: Basic (TB, QB, VB, VBa, VB.NеT ) C (C and C++ for Unix, FrееBSD, QNx), C++, VC++, C++.NеT, C#, ideally know assemblers of the following processors I-4004 - IP4, аmigа: (well, there is a two page list, shallow and detailed). Well, the salary is negotiable, but we did not promise you a mountain of gold. The maximum you can expect is 150 thousand euros.
П - !?!?!?
R - And do not spend the entire working day dreaming about a villa in the Canary mountains, the maximum we can offer our employees is a six-room flat in the centre of Moscow.
Trying to sit still and behave decently.
R - and don't think that if the boss has a beautiful Porsche, you'll get one too. Your maximum is a BMW Z8.
P - (can't take it anymore) Liar!
R - (dutifully) You started it.
The wife read an advertisement on the bus:
With food and drink
Dirty and smelly
ice cream
do not enter!
The wife read an advertisement on the bus:
With food and drink
Dirty and smelly
ice cream
do not enter!
but with pure ice cream is it possible?
If it's stinky, you can only fish for karas on such ice cream.
More than ten years ago, one Kaliningrad farmer ordered manure from Belgium. The Belgians were happy (they have nowhere to put high-quality manure), and our farmer would have made a profit (the Belgians even paid for the "disposal" of their manure). Our farmer ordered 50 thousand tons to try it out. The Belgians said that they could fill the entire former Königsberg with high-class manure - enough for a lifetime.
The manure arrived by sea - the first 50 thousand tonnes, and then it started ... "we don't need manure from NATO" ... statements of regional officials ... etc.
People read newspaper articles and laughed, waited for local news on TV, listened and laughed (the whole town laughed) - they thought it was a joke, the farmer was perplexed - why he was denied such a good deal, and what does politics have to do with it.
We stayed with our ...
In Belgium they have learned to make beer from urine.
I've never come across a stinky frozen carp.
The tastiest crucian carp in late autumn from cold water, around November, it is already fat for the winter, the meat is succulent and sweet. It is caught in the autumn, mainly on moths or trumpets. The main thing is not to forget to collect "a gentleman's kit of fishermen" when going on a fishing trip:
- bread (preferably gray, you can also rye);
- saltshank with a slit;
- pickled barrel cucumbers (crispy);
- onions (cut the heads crosswise before using, but do not cut the tails off so that the quarters of the onions do not fall apart);
- And of course it is the most (it is chosen on the basis of personal preferences, but usually in the autumn goes well pepper and was formerly "Special strong" 56 degrees, Dnipropetrovsk LGZ).
And of course, the fish is better caught in an atmosphere of healthy competition in a friendly group of like-minded ... :)