Interesting and Humour - page 1201
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It is very hot. It's hot to breathe, hot to stand, hot to lie down ... and I have to go into town. I want something to drink, but you can't drink water in this heat. I'd rather have half a glass of beer. You can't have a whole glass, then look for the toilets in an unfamiliar town.
I heard somewhere that Vanga also said: "He who drinks beer before lunchtime is bound to become an alcoholic. But she had no idea it would be so hot.
I walk up to the bar. There's a very grumpy barman behind the bar. I say, "Can I get a beer, please?" He pours. I say, "That's enough." He keeps pouring. I say, "That's enough, that's enough. I asked for half only. That's enough. Enough!"
He poured a full glass, turned to me - "That's enough will be in another country, got it?!" I said - "Got it. Another glass then." He pours another full glass, and rattles down beside me - "That's it!"
I walk out of the hotel. The street thermometer reads 43 degrees Celsius. Turkey.
- Buy me a fur coat.
- Sweetheart, you know what my salary is...
- Then I don't know.
- Well, give me a hint...
- I will. I will. The security at the bank is lousy...
So why do people on the underground freak out about it?
***
- Young lady, can I have cottage cheese, butterscotch, candy and a lollipop?
- Are you taking your daughter?
- Oh, yeah... I forgot about my daughter! Two packs of Marlboros.
***
Grandpa watches the couple do the lambada... then says, "They can't do it till they lie down..."
***
- What's the matter with you, buddy?! You're all scratched up, you got bruises under your eyes, your clothes are torn. Let me walk you home...
- I'm from home...
Who's the one with Sobchak's suitcase? )))
Who's the one with Sobchak's suitcase? )))
The canary costume killed to death, I would even say pissed to death.
For some reason it reminded me of Eyes Wide Shut.