Traders joking, the beginning - page 578

[seekers]

With all the talk about the presidential race, it's easy to forget that we're still 14 months from Election Day. Which means we're just nine years away from the end of the Trump presidency.

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[seekers]

President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there’s anyone who can relate to the story of a guy trapped in a mansion that’s driving him insane, it’s Obama.

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[seekers]

Earlier this week, a woman in Taiwan fulfilled her husband’s last wishes and invited strippers to perform at his funeral. She said it was the least she could do, because when he asked for strippers at his funeral, she murdered him.

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[seekers]

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been named the new host of "Celebrity Apprentice." Wait until the apprentices find out exactly what you have to do when you work for Arnold Schwarzenegger. They're going to spend half the show just trying to understand what their assignment is.

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[seekers]

I understand that Miss America is an old American tradition, but so was dying of polio, and you've managed to stop that. Technically the winner last night was anyone who didn't watch, but the official winner was Miss Georgia.

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