[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 389

 
sanyooooook:


look into your eyes, train your willpower....

:)))

 

Swetten, don't even try to understand why I deleted your last post about the Kurils.

This is your final warning. Here is the substantive part of the post:

Правительство Японии попросило президента России Дмитрия Медведева не ездить на Южные Курилы, сообщает Agence France-Presse со ссылкой на информагентство Kyodo. Японский министр иностранных дел Сэйдзи Маэхара заявил, что визит главы государства на острова, являющиеся объектом территориального спора, может существенно повредить отношениям между Россией и Японией.

http://lenta.ru/news/2010/09/29/japan/

Continuing to defend the gains of democracy in earnest.

 


End of the world according to forex :-)

 
Jonivator:

The trend will start
 

============

 

Breach

P o s t o w (stopping the car). Sergeant Petrov! I'm going to ask for some documents...
documents!
V o d i n g. Good day!
P o s t o w. Your papers! License!
Driver. Tell me about it. It's very hot.
P o s c o m p e. License!
I'm right. Huh?
P o s t o i n g. Can't you hear very well?
V o d i n g. Speak up.
P o w e r (shouting). You have broken the rules! Your rights!
I am. You're right. It's very hot. I'm all wet. What about you?
P o s t o w. Are you deaf? What sign is there? What sign?!
I'm in. Where?
P o w e r. Up there!
I can see, I'm not deaf.
P o w e r. What is the red and yellow on the top for?
By the way, there is something hanging there that should be taken down, it's distracting.
P o w e r. In the middle, on the yellow background, what's all that black and red?
...in the middle of the yellow background?
Louder, it's very hot!
P o s t o i n g. Are you deaf?
I can't see very well.
P o w e r. Are you deaf and blind, too?!
I can't hear!
P o u r t e r. How did you get behind the wheel?
Thanks, I don't smoke. Oh, don't worry. There's two people in the car.
there's two of them. One can see, one can hear! I'm driving.
Get out of the way. The black arrow to the right is crossed out. What does that mean?
I can't hear.
Are you deaf? Is it crossed out? Wrong, it's crossed out.
that's crossed out.
P o w e r. Are you out of your mind? It means you can't turn right
You can't turn right.
Who told you that?
P o s t o i n g. Do you think I am an idiot?
You're taking too much on yourself. Where do you think I'm going?
...where do you think I'm going?
P o w e r. Turned right.
I turned right. Did you? I was turning left. You're just standing on the wrong
side of the road.
Get out of the way. Jesus! Where's your left?
I've got my left. Here's the left hand, here's the right hand! What about
you?
The left. Ugh! All right, there's a passer-by. Let's ask him.
Thank God, not all of us are idiots. Comrade! Answer: which hand is the left,
which is the right?
(stretching out at attention). Guilty!
P o w e r. I am not asking your surname. Which hand is the left, which
which is the right?
P r o x i s h. I heard it for the first time.
P o w e r. It is an open day in the madhouse.
What is your left hand right hand?
P r o x i s h. Personally I have this left and this right. Or as of today.
or has it been renamed since today?
You didn't believe me, Comrade Sergeant. You see, our hands
are the same, and yours are mixed up.
P o s t o w (looks at his hands in bewilderment). I don't understand.
I don't understand.
P r o x i s h. May I go now?
P r o w e r. Go, go!
P r o w e v e r. Where to?
P o w e r. Go straight ahead, don't turn anywhere, and get out of here
away from here!
P r o w e y. Thank you for your prompting. I've been walking for two hours and I can't
I can't figure out where! (Leaves.)
V o d i n g. You need to do something about your hands. I won't tell anyone,
but your job could get you in trouble.
P o s t o w. I won't tell anybody about you either. Drive! Yes, when you turn left...
to the left, you're on the right, it's a no-go, it's a cliff. But you can go that way.

 
DDFedor:

Violation


That's Semyon Altov. I drank vodka with him a long time ago, back when he had his first dog.